Socializing

I am starting to see Meechi socializing a bit more. This is a pretty big deal for him. He has always been that kid that is perfectly content to hang back by himself and just do his own thing. Then there were times when I could see him wanting to take part in play with others but he couldn't bring himself to do it because they were doing things out of his comfort zone (swinging, climbing, running across play equipment*). At one point he just didn't even seem to notice or care about other kids. A big part of his IEP included social skills.

In the past week or so I have seen improvement in Meechi's social skills. I have seen him playing with kids in the park. Running around, playing chase as both the chaser and the one being chased. Getting involved in role-playing games like pretending to be space people or monsters which of course involved more chasing. As long as it does not involve some activity that is out of his comfort zone such as climbing, jumping, swinging or anything else that throws in vestibular sense out of whack. Wait! actually he did almost swing the other day. His game of space men took him to the swings because one boy decided the swings were the spaceships. So Meechi did actually sit on a swing and let it barely move a tiny bit back and forth while he sat there. It cannot really be called swinging, but it is more than he has done in the past so its progress.

He came home from school yesterday telling me about playing monsters at recess. He played with a group of about five boys which is a big deal for him. One of them was a new friend he met this year and the other three were kids he was in Pre-K with last year, which of course included his bestie Buddy.

I know some people may think I am crazy to be excited over something like my six year old playing with other kids, but some of you will get it. Socializing does not come easy for every kid. Play does not come easy for every kid. For some kids, like Meechi, it really is a big deal!

*Have you ever noticed the little gaps in playground equipment? Those tiny little cracks between "boards" on the bridges or walkways. Those thing freak Meechi out. He is terrified he will fall in the cracks no matter how absurd that is. Or maybe that is not it.... maybe they just make him "feel" off somehow. Anyway, he would always crawl across those things or go very, very, very, VERY slowly across them.

More reality less fluff

There is a new Kazakhstan group on Facebook. There are seriously hundreds of families who have adopted from Kaz in the group. It is a wonderful place to connect and talk about shared joys and concerns.

There was a very long thread about issues some of us deal with regarding our children. You know... SPD, OCD, attachment issues, etc...

I am glad people are sharing. There were several links to things that I think may help Meechi. But what I want to know is.....

where the hell have these people been hiding?!?

why are others not blogging about the issues and what they have done to help their child?

we can help each other by offering advice, support, and resources!

not all blogs have to be as personal as mine.

you don't have to post photos or any identifying information, but....

why can't more people post open, honest blogs?

why can't we let others know they are not alone in this?

why can't we do more to support each other?

I was amazed at the number of people on that post who commented that they wondered if their child was the only one with these behaviors. The only one? Really?!? No! No, you are NOT alone in this.

Why do so many adoption blogs only post the shiny, happy stuff?

Why don't more of us post the realities of what our children face?

Are people worried that they will scare someone away from adoption?

Well..... if someone is afraid to adopt because they don't want to deal with any issues or institutional effects then they really shouldn't adopt anyway!

And those who are adopting and are willing to do whatever it takes to love, nurture, and heal a child need to know the realities.

Adoption blogs need more reality and less fluff!

now I am off to walk my child into the kitchen because he is too afraid to go in there alone because he cannot see me if he does.

Who ever heard of an Asian named Demetri

I must make a confession...

I have a bit of a Netflix addiction.

I love the instant streaming of movies and television shows. I have watched five seasons of Psych at least 2 or 3 times now. I have watched all the episodes of Heroes at least once if not twice and it still makes me sad that they pulled that show off the air without warning. I have watched more Bollywood movies than probably any other American, well at least more than any other Kansan. The kids and I have seen nearly every zombie flick on there.

I have also been watching TV shows that didn't quite make it. They are shows that I started watching when they were originally being aired and then I kind of forgot about them and quit watching. I guess everyone else did too because they didn't make it past one season. Sometimes they didn't even make it a full season. I watched Persons of Interest which I had seen about three or four episodes of when it was on. I got to see the entire first season only to be left wondering what happens next since it ended with the typical cliffhanger. Last night I finished up watching season one of Flash Forward. The same thing happened; Season ending cliffhanger but no second season was ever made so I am left wondering what would have happened next.

When I first started watching Flash Forward I was happy to see John Cho in it. I love Harold and Kumar so seeing either John Cho or Kal Penn in anything makes me smile. Which reminds me... if you've never seen The Namesake you should because Kal Penn does an amazing job in what is a very dramatic movie. Not his typical thing. Anyway...... in Flash Forward, John Cho plays the character Demetri Noh. When I first heard them call him Demetri (not my favorite spelling of the name by the way) I thought I heard it wrong. Then when they said it again I was sure that is what they said. My first thought was, "That is an odd name for him. Who ever heard of an Asian named Demetri."

Okay.... take a moment and let that sink in. Go ahead..........................................................................................................................................................................................

Ya, so... I barely had that thought enter my mind before I mentally hit myself upside the head. Okay, it was a dumb thought considering right there in the room with me was my own son who is in fact an Asian named Demetri (not spelled this way though of course).

So now I am left to wonder.... do people look at my son and wonder, "who ever heard of an Asian named Demetri?"

100 days gone

This is what we managed to come up with for the 100th day of school. The boring old fruitloop necklace. Oh well, Meechi loved it. Maybe next year we will get more notice and will be able to go all over-achiever on the project.

The teacher I had hoped Meechi would get for Kindergarten was moved to 1st grade this year, so hopefully he will get her next year. That is if I don't go all radical and yank him from school and start homeschooling. That is a serious possibility.

This is just one more reason...

why Miss Barbie bugs the crap out of me.

I have plenty of reasons why Meechi's kindergarten teacher annoys me to the point of wanting to pull him out of school and homeschool him. Today is just one more for the list.

Here is what the note that came home with him today says:

"Our class has been adding one number for each school day to our growing number line. The 100th day of school is coming up soon, and it will be a major celebration. One of the things we will do to celebrate is create a 100 museum that will contain collections of 100 thins brought in by each child. Children have been thinking about things they might collect, such as a chain of 100 paper clips, a collection of 100 baseball cards, a necklace with 100 beads, or a building made from 100 blocks. We have been talking about ways to count the collections without losing track of the numbers. Making groups of 10 is a good way to count and display the objects.

Children may need a little help gathering materials, but they should be able to do most of the work themselves. Your child can bring in his or her collection as soon as it is ready."

It goes on to say in bold letters:

start a collection of 100 objects.

count your objects and arrange them in whatever way you like.

bring your 100th day project to school by: 1-26-12

This note was sent home today! Today is the 24th! It is due the 26th!

REALLY?!?

Oh ya, start a collection and bring it whenever it is ready..... oh, and you have 2 days to do it.

Oh Miss Barbie! Please catch a freaking clue!!!

Seriously... I can't wait until this chick has kids some day and their teachers pull this kind of crap.

I know it is not impossible to throw together some half-assed project in 6 hours (and really, that is all the time he has in evenings (3 hrs each night) to do something like this considering when he gets out of school, the fact that he needs time to play, and that he has an early bedtime since it takes him forever to go to sleep) but this is Meechi we are talking about here. Mr. OCD! Whatever he does he is going to want it to be perfect and perfect does not happen for him in six hours!

I am having devious thoughts right now. Like if I knew Miss Barbie hated spiders then I would be sure to send 100 freaking hairy arachnids to school on Thursday!

Hey! I never claimed to be perfect. Or nice!

Back to Normal

So the elf is gone (yes we did the elf thing this year, although ours is a budget 2.50 elf instead of the ridiculously overpriced creeper looking "official" elf), the tree is down, the birthday cake is eaten, it is a brand new year, and life is back to normal. Which means...

I am singing Adam Sandler style today cause the kids went back to school! Back to school, back to school

I love my kids and it was nice having them home and spending time with them, but lets face it.... two weeks is quite enough time. Today I enjoying the silence and the fact that I don't have to make anyone lunch, and that I don't have to fix a cup of juice every thirty minutes, or play zoo, or listen to Thomas, Bash (or is it Dash?), and Ferdinand chug chug chugging along down the tracks of Misty Island which is still occupying my kitchen. In fact, I am doing pretty much nothing today. Ya baby!

Well, that is not totally true. I did write a small paper and participate in class discussion because unfortunately I went back to school this week too. At least it's online and I didn't actually have to GO to school.

There is one down side to this whole back to school thing though.... I now have all three kids getting out at different times of the day. Shy went all day for the first semester, but now gets out around 2:20. Gotta love senior scheduling! So now I have to get her at 2:20, go back to the exact same school to get Bucky at 3:10, and then to Meechi's school for him at 4:10. Basically I no longer get an afternoon. (SIGH)

Wrapping up the year

It has been a long time since I blogged. About a month I guess. December is just a crazy month to try and do much other than holiday (and birthday) stuff. Here are some of the things that have been going on with Meechi.

A friend (another Kaz mom) sent Meechi a very thoughtful gift. She sent him a weighted blanket. Isn't she awesome?!? I didn't think to ask her if she minded if I thanked her publicly, so I won't mention who, but I do want her to know that it meant a lot that she did this for Meech. It has helped with his sleep. He is still not sleeping all night, but he does sleep much longer and only wakes for a few minutes before falling back to sleep. (of course that is usually just long enough for him to crawl in bed with us) The weighted blanket seem to help him get relaxed enough to fall asleep and we have not had to use the melatonin at all since it arrived.

Meechi got a part in the musical at Shy and Bucky's high school. They did It's A Wonderful Life the musical and Meechi got the part of the youngest Bailey child. He had to sing a song for the audition and it was pretty darn cute! He did really good the first show, pretty good the second show, okay for the third, and by the fourth (3rd was a matinee and the 4th was that evening) he was pretty much done. He did his big scene (which consisted of him walking across stage and sticking his tongue out at Mr. Potter) well, but in the scenes when he was supposed to stand frozen he was anything but. Two shows in one day is a lot to ask of any kid (even the high school kids were blowing their lines and skipped a couple of important parts of scenes) but for a five year old (especially one with Meechi's particular issues) it was way too much. He had fun for the most part though and became quite popular with many of the high school kids. He even asked one of the girls to be his girlfriend. LOL! She said yes by the way.

We had a nice Christmas. Santa brought Meechi a Misty Island playset complete with the Shake-Shake bridge. If you know much about Thomas the Tank Engine then that probably makes sense and if not then it probably doesn't. Meechi LOVES his Misty Island adventures and despite the fact that the set is so big that it had to go in the kitchen and takes up half the floor we are leaving it set up for awhile. It actually has him playing in a room alone which never happens since he wants someone to always be in a room with him (it's an attachment thing) and I always take progress in whatever ways it wants to come.


Meechi also had his 6th birthday. It is hard to believe he is growing up so much! Six already!!! It is crazy. Seems like he was just a toddler! Speaking of growing up... just check out these photos. Both were taken outside the Asian forest at the zoo. One was taken on his 5th bday and the other on his 6th. Wow! Did he ever grow this past year!!!

5th bday

6th bday

Meechi wanted to do a treasure hunt for his birthday this year, so his big sister Shy made clues that sent him all over the house to find his gifts. He thought it was pretty cool and laughed like crazy when he figured out one of the clues was taped to the toilet (this is what happens when you put a teenager in charge of making the clues!).
Hope you all had a great December and that 2012 brings you much joy and happiness!