I Kind Of Let It Go

When I was searching for answers on Meechi's sleep issues I was reminded about Carol Stock Kranowitz's book The Out of Sync Child. When I first learned about SPD from another Kaz adoptive mom through a yahoo group and my first thought after reading what she was saying about it was, "ohmigod! that is Meech!" I rushed to get the book. (sorry, serious run-on sentence there) I read it nearly cover to cover (i skipped over bits that did not seem to pertain to us) and became thoroughly convinced that Meechi did indeed have SPD. I brought it up to the woman who was doing his early intervention services. Her reply was that she had been thinking that herself but wasn't sure she should bring it up.

I'll take a minute to go off on a bit of a rant here. She is not the only person to ever tell me something like that. There have been a few instances of someone thinking Meechi might have some particular syndrome or disorder but not mentioning it. The reason? They didn't want to worry me. I have been worrying about my son and searching for answers to things since before we even brought him home from Kazakhstan. I actually remember saying to my husband during the bonding process that I was worried that Meechi would not be able to talk because he did not even babble or make typical baby noises. The kid was practically non-verbal until sometime after he was 3 1/2. Anyway, the point is that I find it astounding that people will not clue you in on information that could go a long way to help your child.

So, as I was saying.... I had done the research and decided that most likely Meechi had SPD and so I brought it up to someone who should be able to get him some help. She did actually have us do some questionnaire thing and had it analyzed or whatever. Long story short... Meechi ended up with a diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder.

I not only re-read many portions of The Out of Sync Child, but I also purchased Kranowitz's follow-up book, The Out of Sync Child Has Fun. I utilized a few of the strategies in those books; the ones I felt fit a two year old, which really was not a lot. It was not long after that we got a referral for Meechi to see an OT, PT, and speech therapist. Once he started therapies he got a lot of what he needed there and I tried to repeat things I had seen him do there at home.

My books went on a shelf and were forgotten. Later, they were packed in a box when we moved and were even more forgotten.

Time went by and many things happened. Meechi's scholarship that paid for his therapies ran out and there was no money left in the fund to provide another one. Seriously people... if you get the chance to give to Children's Miracle Network, please do so. It is amazing the ways they support and help children receive the medical care and therapies they need, and no amount of money is ever enough to cover it all. Meechi started preschool and while he did not get therapy there (aside from speech) it did keep him busy and helped his development. I began to suspect autism and spent a year on a waiting list before finally getting him in to see someone. My focus had become so much on the likelihood of Meechi falling somewhere on the autism spectrum that all my focus went in to researching that and into trying to get him in to see someone about it. Then we were told he was not on the spectrum. It was surprising but not unwelcome news. (although i still have my doubts and aspergers comes to my mind often)

After that I kind of let go of the fact that Meechi did still have a special need. Yes, I knew it was there but I just sort of forgot about how much it impacted him. I would see it at times and recognize it for what it was. I knew why he didn't like to swing or couldn't stand for someone to lift him in the air. I knew why he backed away quickly with terror in his eyes when someone offered him a piggyback ride. There were other things though that I sort of forgot about. They were packed away in a box with those books.

When someone mentioned to me the other day that I should read The Out of Sync Child, I thought, "I have already read that." Then I thought about it and realized that Meechi was only two when I read it. TWO! The boy is going to be six in just a little over three months. Had it really been that long since I had turned to this book for answers? Had it been that long since I tried any of the suggested techniques? Yes, it had. So I pulled out the box and removed the books so that I could read them once more.

Reading the chapter on vestibular dysfunction was like being reintroduced to my child. As I went down the checklist I was reminded about just how much of Meechi's behavior and how many of his issues stem from this.
*Dislikes playground activities, such as swinging, spinning, and sliding
*Cautious, Hesitant to take risks
*Appears to be a sissy
*Seems willful and uncooperative
*Very uncomfortable on elevators and escalators
*Demands continual physical support from a trusted adult
*Has a great fear of falling even when no real danger exists. Experienced as primal terror.
*Fearful of heights, even on surfaces that are only slightly raised
*Becomes anxious when feet leave the ground (this is described as feeling to the child as though the slightest movement will throw them into outer space. can you imagine that sort of fear?!?)
*Fearful of climbing or descending stairs
*Feels fearful when head is inverted, upside down, or tilted
*Fearful when someone moves them, such as when scooting a chair they are sitting on

And finally it states that a child with vestibular dysfunction may try to manipulate their environment or other people for self-protection. I think this is the one that really hit me. There are times when I feel like Meechi is intentionally trying to push my buttons. I now have to wonder if this is not the reason for those moments.

After being told that Meechi did not fall on the autism spectrum I really did just kind of let the fact that he has special needs go. I began to treat him as I would any typical child. I really needed the reminder that he is not typical. Trying to treat him as I treated my other children when they were little simply does not work for him. It is not in his best interest. It is time to focus once again on ways to help him overcome his struggles. Meechi is special. He requires a bit more patience and a little extra attention. Mostly though, he is simply a beautiful, unique little boy, and a very special gift whom I thank God for everyday.

"If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise." ~Johann von Goethe