Life With Meechi

This is just one more reason...

2012-01-24T20:10:00.000-08:00

why Miss Barbie bugs the crap out of me.

I have plenty of reasons why Meechi's kindergarten teacher annoys me to the point of wanting to pull him out of school and homeschool him. Today is just one more for the list.

Here is what the note that came home with him today says:

"Our class has been adding one number for each school day to our growing number line. The 100th day of school is coming up soon, and it will be a major celebration. One of the things we will do to celebrate is create a 100 museum that will contain collections of 100 thins brought in by each child. Children have been thinking about things they might collect, such as a chain of 100 paper clips, a collection of 100 baseball cards, a necklace with 100 beads, or a building made from 100 blocks. We have been talking about ways to count the collections without losing track of the numbers. Making groups of 10 is a good way to count and display the objects.

Children may need a little help gathering materials, but they should be able to do most of the work themselves. Your child can bring in his or her collection as soon as it is ready."

It goes on to say in bold letters:

start a collection of 100 objects.

count your objects and arrange them in whatever way you like.

bring your 100th day project to school by: 1-26-12

This note was sent home today! Today is the 24th! It is due the 26th!

REALLY?!?

Oh ya, start a collection and bring it whenever it is ready..... oh, and you have 2 days to do it.

Oh Miss Barbie! Please catch a freaking clue!!!

Seriously... I can't wait until this chick has kids some day and their teachers pull this kind of crap.

I know it is not impossible to throw together some half-assed project in 6 hours (and really, that is all the time he has in evenings (3 hrs each night) to do something like this considering when he gets out of school, the fact that he needs time to play, and that he has an early bedtime since it takes him forever to go to sleep) but this is Meechi we are talking about here. Mr. OCD! Whatever he does he is going to want it to be perfect and perfect does not happen for him in six hours!

I am having devious thoughts right now. Like if I knew Miss Barbie hated spiders then I would be sure to send 100 freaking hairy arachnids to school on Thursday!

Hey! I never claimed to be perfect. Or nice!

Back to Normal

2012-01-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

So the elf is gone (yes we did the elf thing this year, although ours is a budget 2.50 elf instead of the ridiculously overpriced creeper looking "official" elf), the tree is down, the birthday cake is eaten, it is a brand new year, and life is back to normal. Which means...

I am singing Adam Sandler style today cause the kids went back to school! Back to school, back to school

I love my kids and it was nice having them home and spending time with them, but lets face it.... two weeks is quite enough time. Today I enjoying the silence and the fact that I don't have to make anyone lunch, and that I don't have to fix a cup of juice every thirty minutes, or play zoo, or listen to Thomas, Bash (or is it Dash?), and Ferdinand chug chug chugging along down the tracks of Misty Island which is still occupying my kitchen. In fact, I am doing pretty much nothing today. Ya baby!

Well, that is not totally true. I did write a small paper and participate in class discussion because unfortunately I went back to school this week too. At least it's online and I didn't actually have to GO to school.

There is one down side to this whole back to school thing though.... I now have all three kids getting out at different times of the day. Shy went all day for the first semester, but now gets out around 2:20. Gotta love senior scheduling! So now I have to get her at 2:20, go back to the exact same school to get Bucky at 3:10, and then to Meechi's school for him at 4:10. Basically I no longer get an afternoon. (SIGH)

Wrapping up the year

2011-12-30T16:38:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time since I blogged. About a month I guess. December is just a crazy month to try and do much other than holiday (and birthday) stuff. Here are some of the things that have been going on with Meechi.

A friend (another Kaz mom) sent Meechi a very thoughtful gift. She sent him a weighted blanket. Isn't she awesome?!? I didn't think to ask her if she minded if I thanked her publicly, so I won't mention who, but I do want her to know that it meant a lot that she did this for Meech. It has helped with his sleep. He is still not sleeping all night, but he does sleep much longer and only wakes for a few minutes before falling back to sleep. (of course that is usually just long enough for him to crawl in bed with us) The weighted blanket seem to help him get relaxed enough to fall asleep and we have not had to use the melatonin at all since it arrived.

Meechi got a part in the musical at Shy and Bucky's high school. They did It's A Wonderful Life the musical and Meechi got the part of the youngest Bailey child. He had to sing a song for the audition and it was pretty darn cute! He did really good the first show, pretty good the second show, okay for the third, and by the fourth (3rd was a matinee and the 4th was that evening) he was pretty much done. He did his big scene (which consisted of him walking across stage and sticking his tongue out at Mr. Potter) well, but in the scenes when he was supposed to stand frozen he was anything but. Two shows in one day is a lot to ask of any kid (even the high school kids were blowing their lines and skipped a couple of important parts of scenes) but for a five year old (especially one with Meechi's particular issues) it was way too much. He had fun for the most part though and became quite popular with many of the high school kids. He even asked one of the girls to be his girlfriend. LOL! She said yes by the way.

We had a nice Christmas. Santa brought Meechi a Misty Island playset complete with the Shake-Shake bridge. If you know much about Thomas the Tank Engine then that probably makes sense and if not then it probably doesn't. Meechi LOVES his Misty Island adventures and despite the fact that the set is so big that it had to go in the kitchen and takes up half the floor we are leaving it set up for awhile. It actually has him playing in a room alone which never happens since he wants someone to always be in a room with him (it's an attachment thing) and I always take progress in whatever ways it wants to come.

Meechi also had his 6th birthday. It is hard to believe he is growing up so much! Six already!!! It is crazy. Seems like he was just a toddler! Speaking of growing up... just check out these photos. Both were taken outside the Asian forest at the zoo. One was taken on his 5th bday and the other on his 6th. Wow! Did he ever grow this past year!!!

5th bday

6th bday

Meechi wanted to do a treasure hunt for his birthday this year, so his big sister Shy made clues that sent him all over the house to find his gifts. He thought it was pretty cool and laughed like crazy when he figured out one of the clues was taped to the toilet (this is what happens when you put a teenager in charge of making the clues!).
Hope you all had a great December and that 2012 brings you much joy and happiness!

can't wait for "the grill" to go

2011-11-28T20:59:00.000-08:00

Meechi is almost six now. The best part of this age (at least for us) is that means teeth will soon be falling out. Meechi's two lower front teeth are just starting to get a little bit wiggly. I am so glad that soon all that metal will start to disappear and be replaced with pretty white teeth!

We are very fortunate that we were able to get the wonderful dental care we did for Meechi. If you haven't been reading this blog for long then you may not know about the four and a half hour sedated dental work he had to go through two years ago. That means you would also not know about the two hours it took him to wake up enough from the sedation for them to actually let me take him home. Or about the rest of the evening in which I had a very limp, very groggy, very hungry, and very much in pain three year old to take care of. You also may not realize that EVERY SINGLE TOOTH in this kid's mouth has a cap on it. the front teeth got white caps, the rest metal (because that is what insurance would pay for). A couple of those teeth had to have root canals done on them too. Poor guy!

Anyway.... after two years of that shiny grin I am ready to start seeing white again.

learning to fly

2011-11-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

Up
Up!
and away!

conquering fears and learning to fly

How Smart Is He???

2011-10-10T17:30:00.000-07:00

He is just the smartest kid in his class, that's all.

Okay, so I may be going a bit overboard but I am his mom so I am entitled to be that way.

Today was Meechi's parent/teacher conference at school. We found out that he is in the level three reading group, which is the highest group. We also found out that when they did the testing to determine which groups the kids would be in, Meechi scored the highest.

Does that really make him the smartest kid in class? No, not necessarily. It does mean that I feel better about how good of a job I have done with him at home. My goal for the summer was to have him reading before Kindergarten started. Then I got a job and had almost no time. I squeezed in what I could. He is reading pretty well now. I knew that his reading was above average for a beginning Kindergartner, but I did not really have him at the level I had hoped for. So I was happy to hear that he scored high on the reading evaluations.

Even if it does seems braggadocios I am super happy to know he was tops in his class.

SPD and Socialization

2011-10-09T07:48:00.001-07:00

We are a week into SPD awareness month and I haven't posted anything about Meechi's SPD at all. Of course I did post this just last month. I experienced another glimpse at how SPD has the potential to hinder Meechi's social life the other day and I figure that is as good a way to bring light to SPD as any for awareness month.

I went along on Meechi's Kindergarten fieldtrip on Thursday. We went to a dairy farm and pumpkin patch. It was an interesting place to visit and of course with Meechi's love of animals he thought it was pretty cool. He enjoyed getting to see them milk the cows, but then asked me, "that is where milk comes from? Eeeeeeew!" Don't worry, he still drinks it. Later he got the chance to feed a bottle of milk to a calf and to a lamb. He gave feed to the turkeys and chickens, and even to the cows. We even got to watch some pig races. He was in animal lover heaven.

The trip was not all heaven for him though. There were plenty of things to put his sensory avoidance to the test. First was the wind. It was the kind of day that would have had Pooh and Piglet plastered to the window of Owl's house. In other words, very blustery. It doesn't take a really strong wind to get Meechi whining, so this strong wind had him practically weepy. I did my best to be his wind block by always standing upwind of him or moving him to a position where he would be blocked by the crowd or a building. I also made sure he was always the last person getting on or off the wagon for the hayride out to the pumpkin patch and back. He is still really uncomfortable on stairs so he goes slow, holds the rail tight, and still tends to want to sit and scootch down the stairs sometimes.

The real challenge for him though was the playground. Why does there always have to be a playground? He wouldn't get near the swings that looked like cute horses even though everyone else in his group was clambering over them. I did get him on the tire swing, swinging slow and low, but even that made him uneasy. Once again he was left playing on whatever equipment doesn't move or involve being off the ground while the majority of the other kids were climbing and swinging and having fun together. For Meechi the playground is not a place of togetherness, but rather a place of isolation.

He did have fun on his fieldtrip and he did hang out with friends through most of it. He and his good friend Buddy even managed to hang out together a lot despite being in different groups. They always seemed to find a way to ditch their assigned partner and find each other. I am thankful for the low sensory moments in the day in which Meechi can fit in. It is those other times that I worry about how it will effect him socially. I dread the day when kids start making fun of him and calling him names thinking he is too scared to play in the same ways they do.

Have you written a post about SPD? Link it up here. Lets bring some awareness to SPD.

am i SUPPOSED to be happy about that?

2011-10-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

I have been volunteering in Meechi's classroom for a couple of weeks now. Today I saw something I hadn't seen before. Meechi was goofing off and not staying on task. He was being silly with one of the other kids rather than coloring his pumpkin. It made me happy.

Okay, so parents probably aren't really supposed to be happy about seeing their kids goof off instead of working. I get that. But.... this is Meechi we are talking about here. He is a wild ball of energy that never quits moving and never shuts up at home. At school he is something else. I have seen him be more like a robot there. He moves about quietly going where he is supposed to go and doing what he is supposed to do. He is focused, he is on task, he is super quiet, and he does not really interact with the other kids. So seeing him spend a minute or two goofing off... It made me happy.

Oh Crazy Days

2011-09-26T15:32:00.000-07:00

Oh Crazy Days...

Have you ever had to deal with someone with OCD?
I'm not talking about your mom that has to have everything placed on the shelf just so or she's not happy. And I am not talking about your sister who has to fold the towels a certain way or it bugs her. Sure, there are probably plenty of people in your life who have OCD-like tendencies. That is not true OCD though.

I am talking about real OCD. The kind where someone simply cannot move on to anything else until they have what they are currently involved with exactly the way they feel it needs to be. The kind that prevents them from thinking of anything else. The kind that results in complete and total breakdown if the person is not able to get whatever they are obsessing over "right."

We deal with it. Every day! Some days, like today, are worse than others.

Days like today involve Meechi in hysterical tears outside the school because he needed to turn in his field trip form. Never mind the fact that it did not really need to be turned in today. They sent it home last week, and for some reason Miss Barbie sent another one home today with anyone who had not turned it in yet. The field trip is over two weeks away. This second form was too much for Meechi and his OCD to deal with. He was convinced that because this was a "2nd notice" that it needed to be taken care of right now. In his mind there was nothing more important than getting this form signed and turned in right away. Nothing could distract him and nothing could stop the panic and tears that had engulfed him except filling out the form and turning it in right then.

Then there is the obsession with getting everything just right when writing and drawing. If a picture he is drawing does not turn out exactly like he expected it to look then he gets so upset that he cries. This isn't temper tantrum behavior. This is pure and genuine anguish over not having done something perfectly. It is the same way if he tries to write a word or letter and makes the tiniest mistake. He cannot simply fix the problem and move on. Instead he has to start completely over. (we go through a lot of paper around here) I enjoy drawing with Meechi and I am glad that he has finally discovered a love for this type of thing, but I have to admit that the OCD can squeeze some of the fun out of it. I am trying my best to convince him that art does not have to be perfect and when that doesn't work I try to find ways to get creative with his mistakes and turn them into a fun new element on the page. It works occasionally, but not the majority of the time.

There are times when the OCD slows us down. Like the other day trying to leave a store and he was desperately trying not to step on any cracks on a sidewalk that was made up of a bajillion little squares. (thanks so freaking much to whoever taught him the "step on a crack break your mothers back" thing!!!) I could have scooped him up and carried him to the van, but he would have very likely been in meltdown mode the entire ride home and sometimes you just have to avoid the battle.

Some days I can look at Meechi's OCD behaviors and think, "it's just another Meechi quirk. Life is not boring." and other days it makes me want to hide in a dark room rocking back and forth, mumbling to myself. Today is one of those Oh Crazy Days!!!

I Kind Of Let It Go

2011-09-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

When I was searching for answers on Meechi's sleep issues I was reminded about Carol Stock Kranowitz's book The Out of Sync Child. When I first learned about SPD from another Kaz adoptive mom through a yahoo group and my first thought after reading what she was saying about it was, "ohmigod! that is Meech!" I rushed to get the book. (sorry, serious run-on sentence there) I read it nearly cover to cover (i skipped over bits that did not seem to pertain to us) and became thoroughly convinced that Meechi did indeed have SPD. I brought it up to the woman who was doing his early intervention services. Her reply was that she had been thinking that herself but wasn't sure she should bring it up.

I'll take a minute to go off on a bit of a rant here. She is not the only person to ever tell me something like that. There have been a few instances of someone thinking Meechi might have some particular syndrome or disorder but not mentioning it. The reason? They didn't want to worry me. I have been worrying about my son and searching for answers to things since before we even brought him home from Kazakhstan. I actually remember saying to my husband during the bonding process that I was worried that Meechi would not be able to talk because he did not even babble or make typical baby noises. The kid was practically non-verbal until sometime after he was 3 1/2. Anyway, the point is that I find it astounding that people will not clue you in on information that could go a long way to help your child.

So, as I was saying.... I had done the research and decided that most likely Meechi had SPD and so I brought it up to someone who should be able to get him some help. She did actually have us do some questionnaire thing and had it analyzed or whatever. Long story short... Meechi ended up with a diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder.

I not only re-read many portions of The Out of Sync Child, but I also purchased Kranowitz's follow-up book, The Out of Sync Child Has Fun. I utilized a few of the strategies in those books; the ones I felt fit a two year old, which really was not a lot. It was not long after that we got a referral for Meechi to see an OT, PT, and speech therapist. Once he started therapies he got a lot of what he needed there and I tried to repeat things I had seen him do there at home.

My books went on a shelf and were forgotten. Later, they were packed in a box when we moved and were even more forgotten.

Time went by and many things happened. Meechi's scholarship that paid for his therapies ran out and there was no money left in the fund to provide another one. Seriously people... if you get the chance to give to Children's Miracle Network, please do so. It is amazing the ways they support and help children receive the medical care and therapies they need, and no amount of money is ever enough to cover it all. Meechi started preschool and while he did not get therapy there (aside from speech) it did keep him busy and helped his development. I began to suspect autism and spent a year on a waiting list before finally getting him in to see someone. My focus had become so much on the likelihood of Meechi falling somewhere on the autism spectrum that all my focus went in to researching that and into trying to get him in to see someone about it. Then we were told he was not on the spectrum. It was surprising but not unwelcome news. (although i still have my doubts and aspergers comes to my mind often)

After that I kind of let go of the fact that Meechi did still have a special need. Yes, I knew it was there but I just sort of forgot about how much it impacted him. I would see it at times and recognize it for what it was. I knew why he didn't like to swing or couldn't stand for someone to lift him in the air. I knew why he backed away quickly with terror in his eyes when someone offered him a piggyback ride. There were other things though that I sort of forgot about. They were packed away in a box with those books.

When someone mentioned to me the other day that I should read The Out of Sync Child, I thought, "I have already read that." Then I thought about it and realized that Meechi was only two when I read it. TWO! The boy is going to be six in just a little over three months. Had it really been that long since I had turned to this book for answers? Had it been that long since I tried any of the suggested techniques? Yes, it had. So I pulled out the box and removed the books so that I could read them once more.

Reading the chapter on vestibular dysfunction was like being reintroduced to my child. As I went down the checklist I was reminded about just how much of Meechi's behavior and how many of his issues stem from this.
*Dislikes playground activities, such as swinging, spinning, and sliding
*Cautious, Hesitant to take risks
*Appears to be a sissy
*Seems willful and uncooperative
*Very uncomfortable on elevators and escalators
*Demands continual physical support from a trusted adult
*Has a great fear of falling even when no real danger exists. Experienced as primal terror.
*Fearful of heights, even on surfaces that are only slightly raised
*Becomes anxious when feet leave the ground (this is described as feeling to the child as though the slightest movement will throw them into outer space. can you imagine that sort of fear?!?)
*Fearful of climbing or descending stairs
*Feels fearful when head is inverted, upside down, or tilted
*Fearful when someone moves them, such as when scooting a chair they are sitting on

And finally it states that a child with vestibular dysfunction may try to manipulate their environment or other people for self-protection. I think this is the one that really hit me. There are times when I feel like Meechi is intentionally trying to push my buttons. I now have to wonder if this is not the reason for those moments.

After being told that Meechi did not fall on the autism spectrum I really did just kind of let the fact that he has special needs go. I began to treat him as I would any typical child. I really needed the reminder that he is not typical. Trying to treat him as I treated my other children when they were little simply does not work for him. It is not in his best interest. It is time to focus once again on ways to help him overcome his struggles. Meechi is special. He requires a bit more patience and a little extra attention. Mostly though, he is simply a beautiful, unique little boy, and a very special gift whom I thank God for everyday.

"If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise." ~Johann von Goethe

Oh, these weary eyes

2011-09-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned on the blog before that I am taking college courses online? Well, I am. (and no, we will not be discussing the merits or the faults of online colleges right now) One of the courses I am taking right now is a religious studies course. This week we are studying Buddhism. At the top of the chapter it has this quote, “He will deliver by the boat of knowledge the distressed world.”

But what I saw at first glance was, "He will deliver a boat-load of knowledge."

Perhaps my eyes need rest.

Speaking of rest....

I am still flip-flopping on what to do about Meechi's sleep issues. I did give him melatonin on Thursday night. He went to sleep quickly and woke up at about 5am, but came and got in bed with us and went back to sleep. It was a good night.

The next night I have him melatonin again, and once again he went to sleep quickly. However, this time he woke up around midnight and stayed awake all night. ALL night! I was going to say that it is fortunate that it was a Friday and he didn't have school the next day, but honestly it would not have mattered. He was going strong all day Saturday. He even had his first soccer game at 11 that day and the lack of sleep did not phase him at all. It was around 6:30 that evening that it caught up with him and he finally just fell asleep on the floor in the midst of eating dinner. (no, we will not be discussing the fact that i let the kid eat dinner on the floor in front of the TV right now either) He slept through the night and got over twelve hours of much needed sleep.

I wasn't sure what to think last night in regard to giving him melatonin. One night it helped and the next he was up all night. Around 10:30 when he was still awake and showing no signs of falling asleep I decided to give it to him. He was asleep within fifteen minutes. He slept until about 7:30 this morning.

Now I am truly conflicted on what to do. If he takes it tonight will he sleep all night? Or will he wake up ready for another all-nighter?

I am really leaning toward the idea of making him a weighted blanket and seeing if that will help. I have strong suspicions that it will. Of course until the weather cools a bit it might be too hot for him to sleep under one. If I make one then I could start on it soon and the weather should be cooler when it gets done, so I am really thinking that is what I will do. In the meantime? Not sure!

Thanks to everyone who commented either here at the blog, through email, or on facebook about sleep issues and about melatonin. It is helpful to hear from others about their experiences. I did receive some good suggestions for alternative ideas that we might try. A suggestion for a weighted blanket which is something I have been considering for a very long time anyway was probably most helpful as it sort of backed up what I was already thinking. One thing that I found kind of funny is how some people suggested a bath before bed in order to relax a child, while others told how bedtime baths wound their kids up. Meechi is definitely in the category of kids who get wound up by a bath, so it is not a viable option for us. I do think that a more structured bedtime routine may be in order though. I have to fight my own bad habits on that one though!

As for me.... I am off to get a boat-load of knowledge. ;)

Something New

2011-09-11T14:29:00.000-07:00

Meechi started playing soccer this weekend...

and I think that look on his face says it all!

little to no sleep

2011-09-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

Meechi still struggles with sleep issues every now and then. The major night terrors seem to be a thing of the past, but he does still have a nightmare bad enough to wake him up and keep him up every now and then. He also is struggling with falling asleep and staying asleep once he gets there. We had him taking melatonin (as recommended by the developmental pediatrician) before bed for a few months and it helped him drift off and kept him sleeping for longer periods of time. We stopped giving him the melatonin at the beginning of the summer because we do not really want it to become the only way he can sleep. Now that school has started back up I am thinking we may have to go back to using it for awhile.

It is taking him far too long to fall asleep at night. Last night he was still awake at midnight. He woke up before six this morning and did not fall back to sleep until just before eight which is when I would normally wake him for school. Today I just let him sleep as long as he could. He is so grouchy the next day when he has nights like that, and waking him for school would have served no purpose. Grouches do not really do well in school!

Some of his other sleep issues include talking and sometimes walking in his sleep. Bedtime has never really been an easy or restful thing for the poor kid.

So, I think we may just have to go back to using melatonin for at least a little while in order for him to get enough sleep to function for school.

I would love to hear from anyone else whose child is having sleep issues and from anyone who has had to use melatonin to try and help regulate their child's sleep.

Clueless

2011-08-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

sooooooooooo.....
the Kindergarten teacher lost my kid yesterday.
Yep. She lost him.
But that is not all.
She didn't even know she lost him.
Nope. She had no clue.

I went to pick Meechi up from school and was standing outside in the smoldering heat along with all the other K parents. After what felt like forever, but was really only five minutes, Meechi's teacher comes out with her class. Make that part of her class. It seemed a bit odd to me that there were only about ten or twelve kids with her when I know there are a ~~few~~ helluva lot more kids in the class than that. I was looking at the little faces and did not see Meechi's among them. I also did not see his best buddy (who for the sake of anonymity we will just refer to as Buddy from now on here at the blog). The small number of kids with the teacher had me thinking that maybe she had only brought out part of the class and the rest were on their way out. With a teacher's aid maybe? I didn't know, but it seemed logical enough. His daddy has been picking him up so far, so I was not real sure of the procedures.

I stood there for a minute and finally more kids came out. It was the other K class though. I looked among their faces to see if for some reason Meechi got mixed up in the shuffle out the door. He was not with that group either. A couple more minutes went by and I was starting to get concerned; wondering where the hell my kid was. About this time another group of kids comes out and a third teacher has Meechi, who is in tears, with her. She is yelling for Meech's teacher. The sort of yelling that says, "you screwed up." It was obvious that she was not happy with Miss Barbie (again, not the real name but Barbie pretty accurately describes Meechi's teacher so we'll go with it), and neither was I. It was obvious at this point that Miss Barbie had not only lost my son but had no idea that she had lost him.

On the walk home Meechi explained to me what happened. When it was time to line up at the end of the day, he and Buddy decided they didn't want to line up. They didn't want to leave the classroom, and so they didn't. I would love to know HOW the hell Miss Barbie didn't notice two little boys hanging out in the room rather than lining up! So Meechi and Buddy stayed in the classroom for a few minutes until they realized that nobody was coming back. Then they wandered out into the hall and thankfully found another teacher, who is the one who brought them outside.

I am still not real sure why there were so few kids outside with Miss Barbie. I am guessing maybe quite a few ride the bus since they go out a different door. But I do know that two of the kids that were not outside with her were Meechi and his friend and if they could be missing without her knowing it, so could some of the others.

This does not instill a great deal of confidence for me in dear Miss Barbie.

the beginning

2011-08-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

Just a quick little post about Kindergarten. The three kids that I said I would pick to be in Meechi's class? One is in the other class. One is not going to this school at all anymore. And one, the one Meechi would tell you is his BEST friend, is in his class. Yay! One out of three is better than nothing. He also has two of the biggest pain-in-the-a$$ kids in the school in his class, but that is a story for another day.

It is really too early to tell how well things are going. The first day he said he had fun and then was a grouch all evening long. Seven hour school days are a bit tiring I think. Yesterday was only his second day as this is his first full week. Much better attitude last evening. He again said he had fun but then was declaring he didn't want to go to school again this morning.

Every morning seems to be the same... he says he doesn't want to go. He cries or whines at drop off time and clings on to me or his daddy (whichever is dropping him off that day). He calms down a few minutes after we leave and has a good day. I am just waiting for drop off to get easier.

I do not have any pictures to share. Nope. Did not get any first day of Kindergarten photos. hey, his dad took him, not me. I will get some taken sometime this week and call them first week of Kindergarten photos I guess.

The Worst Mom Ever

2011-08-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

Did you know that I am the worst mom ever? Apparently I am.

Do you know how I know this? Meechi told me.

He also told me that he doesn't love me anymore.

Oh ya! Let's not forget that I am mean. Yes, I am very, very mean. Of course so is everyone else in the house. Daddy is mean. Shy is mean. Bucky is mean. Even the dog is mean. Not Meechi though. Nope, he is the only person in the house who is not mean. Once again, I know all this because Meechi told me so.

Yes, it has happened. We have hit that phase of childhood in which when he doesn't get his way Meechi labels everyone around him to be mean and declares us as the worst family ever.

Good times folks! Good times!

Never leave home without it

2011-08-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

Today was my last day with Meechi before he becomes a full-time Kindergartner. He only goes on Thursday this week and really starts next Monday but I have to work tomorrow and Friday, so for me... today was it.

I decided to take him to the zoo since it would be our last chance to go for awhile. I do not do the zoo on weekends. I don't do anyplace where large crowds tend to gather on the weekends. I hate crowds. I love quiet weekday mornings at the zoo when all the other poor schmucks are at work. This amazing thing happens when you visit the zoo on a Tuesday morning.... you actually SEE the animals. Ya, it is true. You can see the animals and not just the fat, sweaty backs of the mob of people in front of you. Amazing, I know!

Okay, I got a bit off track there for a second. My point was that this was my last chance to hang out with Meechi on a weekday morning, so I wanted to take him someplace he loves. The zoo is that place.

He was a bit out of sorts though because we did not take our usual course through the zoo. Meechi is a creature of habit. Any variance from what he is used to can lead to anything from a minor tantrum to full-blown nuclear meltdown. Today's deviation led to mild (mild for him anyway) annoyance. There was whining and pouting and much complaint of, "this is not the right way!!!" We managed to get beyond all that though and still have a good time. Now you may be asking yourself why the heck we didn't just go the "normal" way through the zoo and save ourselves the trouble of the "wrong way" fit. Well, the simple answer to that is the giraffes.

Between 10 and 11 you can spend a dollar on a handful of leafy twigs, climb up onto an overlook, and actually feed the giraffes. We have never actually done this before and I thought it would be kind of cool to let Meechi give it a try. Yes, it did occur to me that the idea of a large, slimy, purple giraffe tongue touching his hand might freak Meechi out. However, I figure we won't know if he can tolerate something or not unless we give it a try. So try it we did. You know what? He was perfectly okay with it. There is just something about animals that is so fascinating for him that they seem to counteract most of the sensory issues, the odd quirks, and the irrational fears.

In order to make it to the giraffes in that one hour window of feeding time, we strayed from our normal path and it turned out pretty good overall. Meechi enjoyed the heck out of feeding those giraffes. He bravely held up his leafy twigs and let the giraffes tug away at the leaves. He did better than most of the kids up there. Most of them would hold up a twig and let go as soon as a long, purple tongue touched a leaf, giving up the whole twig at once. Meechi wasn't having that though. He held tight to his twigs and made the giraffes tug at the leaves, ripping off just a few at a times, just like they would if they were eating from a tree. There was only one, the largest giraffe, who managed to rip the whole twig from Meech's hand. Meechi of course found a solution to that problem and simply opted not to offer that guy any more leaves.

As for me? I was violated by that large giraffe. Repeatedly! No, don't let your mind stray to the gutter. He simply wrapped his nasty, purple tongue around my hand and arm as he stole a twig from my hand. I was standing with him behind me, watching Meechi feed the smaller, and NICER, giraffes when this guy swings his fat head my way. I didn't even see him coming. Instead I was startled by a slimy tongue suddenly touching my hand and attempting to rip away my handful of twigs. Naturally I freaked out a bit, jumped back, and shouted "oh my god!" I am then greeted by a little girl of about ten looking at me, laughing, and telling me, "that was so funny." Ya, let's see how funny you find it when stick a twig in your hair and sick the giraffe on you princess! Ya, okay... I see her point. It probably was pretty funny, but at the time it was just freaky and gross. After that, both Meechi and I avoided the big giraffe.

So, Meechi got to feed the giraffes and had a good time doing it. The whole thing was pretty darn cute. And this folks leads me to the moral of our story.... just because you've been to the zoo somewhere close to a million and twelve times, and just because you have more pictures of your kid at the zoo than you could possibly know what to do with, don't decide that leaving your camera at home is a good idea because you can't imagine anything you might possibly want a picture of. If you do.... you just might miss getting a photo of your adorable five year old smiling and laughing, and showing no fear at all while feeding leaves to a giraffe.

Oh! and you might also miss out on getting a photo of Mommy getting violated by a giant, purple giraffe tongue!

under construction

2011-08-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

I made some changes to the blog design. I am not done though. I wanted to keep the idea of using photos on the sides, but I think they may be too big. Also, you cannot see all of them. I had that same issue before though. I would like the background to scroll down along with the text so that as people scroll down the page they see more images. I am not sure how to make that happen though. It used to do that when I first added the last background but somehow I did something that made it stop and so not all images were able to be seen. I still have that problem and need to figure out how to fix it. If anyone has any idea how to do that, please let me know. Also, I would love opinions on if the images on the sides are too big. Should I make them smaller or leave them as they are?

This time I went with baby photos on the left (most are from the Kaz and then one from when Meechi first came home) and newer photos on the left. I added more photos to the header this time too. I would love opinions on whether or not it looks too busy or cluttered. This is a work in progress and I would love input, so please share your opinions.

If you are reading this in a reader or on facebook be sure to click over to the blog http://lifewithmeechi.blogspot.com so you can take a look at the blog design and give your opinions. Thanks!

Re-Design

2011-08-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

I think it is time to re-design this blog. Again.

I have plenty of reasons for a re-design but this...

is the main reason.

That cute picture of Meechi in his puppy hat with his tongue sticking out? Meechi hates it. HATES IT! He will not look at it. Whenever I have the blog up on the screen he will cover that picture with his hand and growl. Then he tells me that he doesn't like it and wants me to make it go away.

Weird? Yes. Make any sense at all? Nope. But that is Meechi for you.

So.... I am going to have to come up with a new blog design. Any thoughts?

the big K is right around the corner

2011-08-09T16:13:00.000-07:00

Meechi's first day of Kindergarten is next week. I have mixed emotions.

Part of me is glad to see him growing and progressing so well. No more special ed. Meechi goes off to Kindergarten as a mainstream Kindergartner. It is huge! Something I wasn't sure would ever happen. Still, I wonder how he'll do.

He is smart and there is no question that he will do well with the educational aspects of school. The social aspects? I just don't know. He still has a tendency to growl at people. He still raises his hand up to block people from seeing him and saying, "stop looking at me." At least he doesn't shout it full blast anymore. That's progress right?

We were at enrollment the other day and another family came in. They had a little boy signing up for K also. Meechi looked at him, he looked at Meechi, and Meechi growled at him. (SIGH) I hope like hell that he has at least one or two kids from his pre-k class in K with him. It will help.

Change is still so hard for him. A new classroom and a new teacher are not going to be easy for him. So, having some familiar kids in class might make the change easier. I wish I had the power to choose his classmates because there are three kids that I would for sure put in the class with him. There are other big changes that won't make this easy as well. Kindergarten is a full day at his school. No more three hours a day. That also means eating lunch at school. Not easy for a kid who grazes rather than sitting down to eat a full meal. Lunchtime worries me. Will he eat? Will he eat enough? Then there is the restroom issue. His answer to potty time in pre-k was to just not go at school. I always made sure he would go before school and he would go again as soon as he got home. That worked ok for three hours, it won't for seven hours. Lunchtime and potty time both worry me. A lot!

Then of course there is just the fact that my baby is going to be gone seven hours a day. I admit that I loved my little three hour a day break from all the drama that is life with Meechi, but when I think of him being gone all day it just makes me sad. No more mid-morning trips to the zoo or early-afternoon adventures in the park. Ya, it's sad.

109

2011-07-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

Are you having a heat wave where you are? Well, if you are in the US then ya, you probably are. We certainly are here. We have had some record highs as well as approaching 40 days of temps over 100 degrees. Tomorrow's forecast? 109 and that is without the heat index.

So far we have managed to keep cool by hanging out in the pool, but lately it has even been too hot for that. The pool water is basically the temp of bath water these days. Not so refreshing.

You know it is way too hot when it is even to hot for this...

What? Why? and the Stutter

2011-07-10T11:06:00.001-07:00

Meechi has hit that phase of childhood where he asks "why" all the freaking time!!! He asks why and when you answer he asks why about the answer you just gave. He also asks a whole lot of what questions. What is this? What is that for? What are you doing?

I can deal with all the what's and why's. They can be annoying, but they are a normal phase of childhood. I can deal with normal.

There is something else that has come along with the why phase though. He has developed a stutter. He doesn't repeat the beginning sound of a word like with a typical stutter. Instead he repeats a word over and over and over. He does this most often when asking what or why. So instead of asking "why are you doing that?" he will ask, "why why why why why why why why why are you doing that?" I am not certain what the reason for this is.

Bucky used to do this when he was about six or seven. One of his teacher's told me that she thought his mind was just working faster than his mouth. By that she meant that he had so many thoughts and ideas running through his mind that he couldn't articulate them as quickly as he could think them. I am thinking this is probably what is going on with Meechi too. I would love to hear some opinions on this though. Has anyone else experienced this with their child?

June

2011-07-01T22:14:00.000-07:00

These pictures show how we started off the month of June. So my blogging absence for the past month? Well, if you had to choose between THIS and sitting down at the computer to type, what would you do?

June is over? How the hell did that happen?
Well, bring on July!

Pre-K exit IEP

2011-05-13T09:43:00.001-07:00

It has been a few week's since Meechi had his Pre-K exit IEP meeting. I figure I better post about it now or I will never get around to it.

We were told by his speech therapist that he no longer needs speech therapy. I was both surprised and not surprised by this. I wasn't really surprised because his speech has become miraculously improved. He speaks in full sentences and all of his words (when he is not using some crazy voice) are easily recognized and decipherable. Yay! My surprise comes simply in the fact that I had wondered if he would ever reach this point. He has though, and it wonderful. Not only can I understand him, but so can everyone else. He is on track with his peers as far as speech goes. The speech therapist even commented that she has shush him up at times because he tries to speak for the other kids when they work in a group. Next year he will be monitored for any relapses or changes for the worse in his speech, but unless that occurs he is done with speech therapy.

His teacher also commented on having to shush him and to ask Meechi not to answer all the questions in class. He wants to answer every single question himself. She has to remind him before they begin to let some of the other kids answer, and then if they don't answer right away he will shout out the answer because he thinks they are taking too long. This is good in two ways. One is, of course, that he knows the answers. The other is that he is actually talking and participating in class. This is huge for him since his social skills and his ability to participate were huge concerns. Not only is he now participating in class discussions, but he is also socializing with the other kids.

He now actively plays with the other children, and is beginning to stand up for himself a little bit (but still has a ways to go in this area). He is socializing well enough that he actually has a best friend whom he prefers to do things with and will come home talking about what cool things they did that day. In fact, these two boys get along so well that they are actually starting to get in trouble for talking too much. A few months ago this was unimaginable to me and to his teacher. Meechi is talking enough to get in trouble! This is huge!!! In fact the teacher made the comment that this is such a huge step for both Meechi and his friend (who is an English as a Second Language student) that although she has to tell them to quiet down she is cheering on the inside to see them both socializing so well. Since many of the things on Meechi's IEP were social skills, this progress has meant that he has met or exceeded all of those goals.

He has also met or exceeded all of his acedemic goals. So with the combination of reaching all speech, social, and academic goals it adds up to Meechi no longer needing special education. Next year as he starts Kindergarten he will be in regular education. They are going to monitor him for any regression (just as they will with speech) to see if he needs any attention or help and to make sure he doesn't get lost in the shuffle. He will also have some special exceptions for his quirks such as not having to tuck in his shirt due to sensory issues. Also, his teacher will be aware of his quirks and behaviors and make allowances for those issue.

Overall Meechi is doing great and made such huge progress this year. He is simply not the same child that entered that classroom last August.

We are not done with IEP's just yet. He has at least one more to go. When children in special education turn six they need to go through another evaluation process. This one will include testing his motor skills again. I am hoping that this may result in some OT for his sensory issues, but that is still several months away.

long winter

2011-05-04T03:24:00.000-07:00

The number one sign that it was a really, really long winter?

The fact that when I put shorts on him the other day, I looked at my Kazakh son's legs and realized how pale they looked.

Now that is just not right!

Kindergarten Roundup

2011-05-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

Last week was Kindergarten roundup at Meechi's school. There was a pretty poor turnout for the event. There were less than a dozen families there. Considering they get enough Kindergartners to require three K classrooms the turnout was extremely low. None of the other kids from Meechi's pre-k class (which is at the same school) were there, and there were only two kids there from the afternoon class.

As the parents sat and listened to the K teachers talking about the curriculum and such, the kids were off in a corner of the library. They had set out a rack of books and a few beanbag chairs so the kids could sit and look at books. I was really proud of Meechi's behavior as he was the only one actually sitting quietly and looking at books. The other kids were chasing each other around and diving into the beanbags. I was just thinking to myself how much better behaved he was than the other kids when he did something to change that. He had gotten up to find a different book when a little girl decided to take a turn in the beanbag he had been using. As soon as he saw her there he screamed that it was his seat and went over and tried to push her out. So much for good behavior! This earned him a talking to about sharing and not by both me and one of the teachers. After that he wouldn't go back over into that area and instead leaned against me whining that he didn't want to share.

Other than that incident the event went alright. We met the teacher who his pre-k teacher has recommended for him. I totally agree that she would be a good fit for him. She spent some time talking to him and got him out of his sulky, pouty mood. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that she is the teacher he ends up with. Teacher recommendation doesn't assure anything, but we were there when the Principal asked his teacher who she thought would be best for him, so at least we know she is interested and giving it some thought.

The current Kindergarten curriculum seems like it is a little behind Meechi's current abilities, but that does not surprise me. He is ahead of the other kids since he is beginning to read and write. They did say they are going to have a new reading/writing curriculum next year and they are not sure exactly what all it entails but they felt it was an improvement over what they have now. I am holding out hope that it is good. I did ask about how they would handle kids being on different levels and they separate the kids out into different groups for reading/writing and math based on skill level so that sounds like it should be beneficial.

I intend to have Meechi reading fairly independently by the end of the summer. He shows obvious signs of being ready and willing. I did the same thing with Bucky when he was little and it has been a great benefit for him as he has worked his way up through school and continues to be placed in honors classes. Meechi has benefited from getting two years of pre-k and from the fact that we work continually at home as well. He loves to be read to and now loves to try and read on his own. Learning the letter sounds was something that I really focused on early. Anyone looking for a great tool for helping kids learn the letter sounds, I recommend the dvd Leapfrog's Letter Factory. (no, i am not receiving anything for my recommendation. it is just something that really benefited Meechi and so i want to pass that info on)

I am so incredibly impressed with the progress Meechi has made in the past six months or so. It has been amazing! He had his pre-k exit IEP meeting a couple of weeks ago and everyone had great things to say.... but that is a post of its own.

A boy and his dog

2011-04-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if I have mentioned it or not, but we are doing take2 on the whole dog/pet thing. Our first attempt, with cute little Tilly, did not work out. You combine one hyper aggressive child with one hyper aggressive dog and you get nothing but trouble. Add the fact that little Tilly was getting to be quite big and the trouble gets worse. Meechi and Tilly were not a good match. If he wasn't harassing her, then she was harassing him. She was way too wired and had a bad tendency to jump on Meechi and that resulted in some really bad scratches and several incidents of knocking him off his feet. He seemed to feel that she would make a good horse and attempted to sit on her A LOT. So she had to find a new home. She did help him get over his fear of dogs though, so it was at least partially a good thing. (all of this was back in 09 which is further proof of how bad i am at keeping up this blog)

I had no plans to try and get another dog. I didn't feel Meechi was ready for a pet. Then last October we sort of had a dog just fall into our family. She was abused and abandoned and I didn't have the heart to say no. I decided to take her in on a trial basis to see how Meechi would do. Do you believe in fate? This dog is perfect for Meechi! She is so laid back and easy going and more importantly she is the most tolerant dog I have ever seen. We don't let Meechi mistreat her in any way, but as a hyper five year old he has his moments when he pushes the limits. A hug may be a bit too tight or something along that line. This dog, sweet tolerant Penelope, takes it in stride and just gives him a lick on the face. She may sigh or harrumph and give me a look that sort of says "this kid is annoying" but she puts up with it and loves him. They play well together most of the time and seem to enjoy each others company. She is a sweet dog that is well loved by the entire family. Meechi thinks she is the greatest dog in the world.

Meechi has made another huge leap recently. He is beginning to read and to write. I am confident that he will be reading on his own quite well before he starts Kindergarten in the fall. I knew that he was able to spell small, phonetic words but he surprised me the other day with what he came up with.

This is Penelope asleep on the lounger in the backyard. When Meechi saw this he was disturbed that she was sitting there.

He immediately went to his alphabet refrigerator magnets and spelled out the following message for the dog

I have to say that I am pretty darn impressed at his ability to create a whole sentence like this.
A couple of days later he created the message you see in the photo at the top of the post. I always knew this kid was smart!

Hey Easter Bunny...

2011-04-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

let me help you fill those Easter baskets!!!

I posted around a month ago about how I worry over the fact that while I feel Meechi would benefit from occupational therapy or from some sort of classes that would work on his coordination and balance, I cannot afford to do any of this for him. I decided that I can either worry and complain about it or I could do something about it. Working is not a realistic option for me right now. What is the point of making enough money to take Meechi to therapy if I never have the time to actually take him? I also feel that it is in his best interest to have me home with him rather than being in a daycare environment. (he lets himself be bossed around and pushed around by other kids. he will not stand up for himself nor will he tell an authority figure when something happens) So I had to find a solution to the money issue that would allow me to stay at home. I decided to take a try at selling Avon. I know they have quality products at very reasonable prices and so I could feel good about selling them. The company has been around for 125 years, so I know that they can be trusted as well. With so many work-from-home schemes out there, trust is a very important issue.

I have added a link on the right sidebar of this blog that will take you to my online store if you are interested in checking it out. Avon really does focus on quality in their products and the prices are more than comparable to the leading discount stores. For those who think Avon is just makeup, you couldn't be more wrong. Not only do they carry makeup, skincare products, and perfume, they also have toys, clothing, jewelry, and so much more.

Now, as for those Easter baskets.... click the following links to see some items that would make perfect basket fillers as well as gifts for yourself or someone you love.

Sterling Silver Diamond Accent Cross Necklace on sale for $12.99
Kids Sequin High Top Sneaker on sale for $16.99
Kids Bath Time Body Paints only $1.99 each
Spring Candy Lip Balm only .99 each
Spring Hand Cream only .99 each
Spring Fling Watch $29.99

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know

2011-03-26T07:46:00.001-07:00

One of the most frustrating things I have to deal with is the moments when something happens to set Meechi off and I do not see it happen. For example, this morning I was in my room gathering laundry to be washed and Meechi was playing trains in the living room. Suddenly he just started crying terribly. It was not his "pain cry" so I knew he wasn't hurt, but something had upset him. I asked him what was wrong and he just continued to wail. I then asked him what happened to make him cry and he answered through the sobs with, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!"

This is not an uncommon answer in these situations. Actually it is almost always his answer when I ask him what is wrong or what upset him. I then have to play detective to figure out what set him off. This morning it was the fact that part of his train set came unhooked. Nothing that deserved such drama, but such is life with Meechi. At least it was something easy to figure out. There are times when I simply cannot find the source of his stress and that only serves to make his reaction worse. It can be so very frustrating for the both of us. I guess I really need to work on my detective skills in order to get through these moments.

*I didn't really have a photo to match this post (i try to avoid taking photos of a crying, whiny child) so I posted one of Meechi in front of the Yurt cake I made for his Metcha Day. Just ignore the mess around the cake! I made marshmallow fondant to frost the cake and it is messy stuff, but tastes amazing.

Happy Nauryz!

2011-03-22T16:31:00.000-07:00

For those who do not know, today is Nauryz, the celebration of spring and the renewed life of the Earth. I have often heard it referred to as Kazakh New Year, but it celebrated in more places than Kazakhstan. It is really more of a celebration of spring and a new beginning.

Here are some links where you can learn more about the holiday, find some cool Nauryz crafts, and get some recipes for delicious Kazakh food that you can make to have your own Nauryz celebration this coming weekend.

Click here for a cool Kaz-Mom blog with cultural info, recipes, and an awesome craft.

Click here for info about Kazakhstan culture and national traditions

Click here for some really amazing photos of a Nauryz celebration in Kazakstan

and here is the link to the Kazakhstan Recipes Yahoo Group

I hope you have a wonderful Nauryz and a very blessed spring!

No Touching the Set Please

2011-03-17T10:27:00.001-07:00

I mentioned before that Meechi has this new obsession with building "sets". These are little scenes that he builds with toys, pillows, chairs, and whatever else he can find to create them with. The sets are actually really neat, there is just one really big problem with this new hobby/habit of his... it really brings out his OCD tendencies. Once he gets one built he does not want anyone to touch them, at all! Since these are usually built in the middle of my living room floor, this causes a bit of trouble between the Meech and I. Leaving the living room permanantly decorated with "sets" is not an option. I will often pick them up while he is in bed or at school. When sees that they have been picked up he has a complete meltdown. I am invoking a new rule. All sets must be picked up and put away before bedtime. I was trying to be nice in letting him keep them up, sometimes for a couple of days, before cleaning them up when he is not around. That does not seem to be working. I know he is going to hate having to pick them up, and it will make bedtime a whole lot tougher, but since next week is spring break I figure now is the time to get him used to the idea. I don't know if making him pick them up himself will stop the meltdowns (i am guessing no on that) but at least he will be cleaning up his own mess and I will not have to deal with having to discipline him for being mean and rude and yelling at me for picking them up.

Trains, Trains, and well... More Trains

2011-03-12T12:46:00.000-08:00

It was March 12, 2007 when we finally were able to hold our little boy in our arms. Today is the 4th anniversary of our "Metcha Day." This is the first of a three month long series of anniversaries in regard to Meechi's adoption. More proof that the Kaz adoption process takes an insanely long time! LOL!

To mark the occasion I took Meechi to the train show that was here in town this weekend. (good timing!) He still has a tremendous obsession with trains, so I knew this would be something he would enjoy. I actually thought it sounded boring and thought I wouldn't like it all. It turns out that Meechi's excitement is truly contagious and I actually enjoyed being there. He absolutely loved checking out all the model train sets. There were some really amazing ones actually. If his obsession with trains continues as he gets older, I think this is a hobby that I would be willing to invest in for him. I love to make things and I think that it would be fun for us to build the sets together. (Meechi currently has an obession with building various types of sets anyway, so this may really be something great for him. I will post photos of some of his sets later.)

While creating model train sets may be in our future, for now we are sticking with Thomas the Tank Engine. We found Bash and Dash on sale at a good price at one of the vendor booths, so I picked them up for him. Misty Island Rescue is currently Meech's favorite Thomas movie, so he was excited to find the funny train duo from this movie. We did not see a Ferdinand (and believe me he was searching hard for him) or we would have had to get him too. I also picked up a Thomas' Great Race game that was on $12 which is a heckuva steal on that. So Meechi was sufficiently spoiled for his Metcha Day celebration.

Meechi checking out the drive-in theater set

The drive-in set. The movie screen was a real screen and it actually had a Clint Eastwood movie playing on it. This one was awesome!

Meechi pointing out the the train was on its way

riding the hand cars. he was really good and really fast at pumping the care along the tracks

One of Meechi's favorite sets. He loved the little firemen putting out the fire

his favorite set of all, Godzilla destroying the city

Censoring Ourselves

2011-03-09T14:25:00.000-08:00

I mentioned in my last post that I have been censoring myself in regard to what I say about Frank losing his job after Meechi came home. His is an occupation in which blackballing still exists, so to speak out about was done puts him at risk of never working in the industry again. That is not something we have been willing to risk, and so I have censored myself. There are times when I hear lies spread about "why he quit" that just piss me off, and yet I remain silent with the exception of a grumble about the fact that he did not quit.

This is not the only area in which we have found that we have been censoring ourselves. There was of course THE post from our adoption blog that caused me to become very cautious about making certain comments or certain types of jokes. That is not all though. There is just this overwhelming opinion out there that one should not say anything negative about the country you adopt your child from, nor should you say anything negative about the process itself. Come on! Even the Kaz government realized it was flawed, that is why they are shut down and revamping the program and joining HAGUE. Still, if you try to say something negative there will always be an onslaught of negative feedback from others. There are dozens of people who are more than willing to fire away hate mail at you declaring that you are "jeopardizing the program", "going to cause hundreds of children from being able to be adopted", or "going to cause problems for families in process." It is simply taboo to speak anything negative about your child's birth country or their policies.

I found myself just the other day telling my husband that if we go to Kazapalooza (i made hotel reservations months ago but i have to actually regsiter our family for the event. this is in no small part due to the fact that i worry about having to censor ourselves while there) that I do not want him to talk negatively about our adoption experience to anyone. There was not a whole lot positive about the experience so it really does not leave much to talk about in all honesty. I warned him that people always rave about the facilitators they had, about how well they were treated in-country, about what a wonderful experience it was, and about how they love that country and wish they could go back. Surely we cannot be the only ones who did not love it all. We cannot be the only ones that were not treated all that well while in-country. And yet I have heard (or read actually) other people raving about their facilitator when they had the same horrible woman we did. Someone once referred to her as, "a rock star of the adoption world."

This is the same woman who would ignore us while she talked on her phone the entire time she was with us. This is the same woman who would drop us at the orphanage with no translator and no way to reach anyone if anything happened. And yes, there was a day when something did happen.... Meechi had a fever and they took him to the sick ward and we had to leave early, but we had no one there with us. No one to drive us back to the apartment. No one to interpret for us or the caregivers about what was wrong with Meechi. No one there for us like there should have been. No one there for us like we were paying for there to be! And this was the same woman who whenever we would invite her to have lunch with us would always refuse and yet the next family to come to town got the royal treatment from her. She spent extra time with them and dined with them everyday. Oh, I could go on about other things, worse things actually, that she put us through but I won't bother. And I won't even go into her behavior on the second trip other than to say that she actually went out of her way to avoid seeing or speaking to Frank while he was there. This woman who almost single-handedly made our trip a miserable experience, is the same woman that others rave about how great she is.

So we continually find ourselves censoring what we say about our adoption experience, about the city our son was born in as well as the country, and about so many other things that people never seem to want us to say.

Worries and Wonder

2011-03-07T07:46:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it has been about a month since I posted a little blast from the past with the promise that it was going somewhere. I just haven't been able to sit down and put word to ~~paper~~ computer screen about it until now. Sometimes I wonder if I share too much. I probably do, and yet I can't help but think there may be someone else out there who feels the same way and they too are worried about actually saying those thoughts. So here it is, my mental garbage aired for all.

Back in April of 07 as I waited for my son to finally come home I wondered and worried about our financial situation. I was concerned about the fact that although we had so much to offer in the way of love, we had much less to offer in the way of material possessions and life experiences. Now I realize that not all life experiences cost money. Some of the very best are free, but there are those that come with a price tag. Would we be able to spend money on things like a fantastic private school, dance lessons, gymnastics, guitar lessons, and every other thing our son would want to experience? Would we be able to do it times three because it is unfair to do for one child what you don't do for the other two? The answer to those questions were no. If money had not been overflowing before, the fact that Frank lost his job right after Meechi came home meant that money was far from flowing at all. (and really the story behind him losing his job is one that i would love to tell but have always censored myself on publicly. i do hope to one day tell it though because it speaks to unjustness in this world we live in. but that is for another day) Does a child really need all of those things? No, probably not, but that does not keep a parent from wanting to be able to give those things the him.

It has been four years and I still worry about the money issue. I still look at other families who have adopted and see all that they are able to bestow on their children and think to myself, "I can't do that for Meechi." Do not take this for jealousy because it is not. I simply find myself wondering "what if". What if we had not adopted Meechi... would he be in a family that could afford to do all these things for him? would he be happier? would he be better off? did we deny him the chance of a life with more? Then of course I come back to reality and I know that he has what he really needs. He has love and a family that would do anything and everything for him. He has a mommy to hold him close and make him feel safe, he has a daddy to take care of him and to make him laugh like no one else can, he has a brother and sister to play with him and help look out for him. He has what he needs most. Yes, there is the chance that he could be in a different family that could give him more, but then he could also still be in an orphanage half way around the world.

Still I worry. I read about other families who have children with sensory issues, or attachment issues, or whatever special needs Meechi's current behaviors reflect. I read about how they build special sensory rooms for their kids, and how they pay out of pocket for expensive therapy equipment, OT, PT, and various other therapies. I struggle to get insurance to pay for anything. I have struggled to get some sort of doctor to give some sort of diagnosis in hopes it would spur insurance to actually cover something. Anything. Nothing has ever worked though, and Meechi goes without therapies that I know would benefit him. This is when I truly worry and wonder if I was really the best choice for this child. It is when I know there are things that could help him to overcome or learn to deal with the issues he faces, but I am not able to financially provide them for him that I feel like I have failed him in some way.

Does anyone else love their child so much that they sometimes wonder if they do not really deserve them? Does anyone else ever feel like they are epically failing their child? Am I really the only one?

Ya tebya lyublyu

2011-02-22T12:08:00.001-08:00

When I get sick, truly sick, it knocks me down to the point that I can barely function. That is where I am right now. I certainly have a new understanding of how miserable Meechi was feeling last week, and how Bucky was feeling this past weekend as he had caught this bug as well. Being sick has given me a new understanding of something else as well.

I have been given a clear picture of Meechi's ability to love. I was bracing myself for a day like most others, where I would be asked to play constantly and have to deal with the ever present outbursts that are part of life with Meechi. Instead I have been treated to hours of peace and the caring touch of a loving little boy.

I do not know if it is intuition or what, but Meechi truly understands that I am hurting right now and not able to function at full capacity. He has played quietly for the past two hours, coming over to me only to rub my cheek with his tiny fingers or to kiss me on the forehead. He is showing signs of self-sufficiency like I have never seen before. Although he cannot yet poor his own juice, he has brought his cup and the bottle of juice over to me in my little sick-bay on the sofa. He managed to find his own lunch in the fridge as well, saving me from having to get up and also saving himself from being over-exposed to my germs.

The thing that has really struck me today though is how he has treated me with tenderness, love and care. As he passes by he will stop and plant a kiss on my forehead and tell me, "I love you Mommy." I look into his sweet face and in those deep, brown eyes I can see that love.

So now every time that he throws a temper tantrum, getting mad at a toy and throwing it across the room or biting it in anger and frustration, I won't worry quite so much about his future. I know that inside this boy there is his true self and it is a self full of love, compassion, and a desire to take care of those he loves. That is the real Meechi.

You Know The Feeling

2011-02-16T09:23:00.000-08:00

Do you know the feeling that life has so many responsibilities piled up on you at one time that you feel like you are buried under a responsibility mountain and there is just no way you can dig yourself out? Ya, of course you do. Everyone gets to feeling that way every now and again. Me? That is where I am at right now. Buried deep, deep, deep down under a pile made of solid rock and steel.

One thing I haven't mentioned yet here on the blog is the fact that I started taking online college courses back in September. I am enjoying (most of) the courses. Mostly though I am just glad to have the opportunity to use my brain in ways stay-at-home moms do not often get the chance. I was getting swallowed up by Backyardigans, Legos, and rousing games of tag. I needed something to make me stretch my brain power. Not that researching SPD, Autism, RAD, ODD, and a host of other disorders wasn't making my brain work. It was, but I needed more. I also figured if I was going to research all that junk anyway, I may as well make it really pay off. So I am working toward a degree in Psychology. Fun stuff! Of course I am in the beginning courses and have not even really touched on the actual subject of psychology yet, but I will get there.

What was my point? I am sure I had one........ ah, yes! The point is that on top of all the housework, and taking care of a child who is EXTREMELY time consuming to care for on a good day, I now have the extra responsibility of my own schooling. It makes those three hours that Meechi is at preschool downright valuable to me. It gives new definition to "me time" as I am now using it to better myself. Yay me! Of course when I lose that three hours for some reason it really messes everything up. A LOT!!! This week, I am not getting my three hours. Meechi is sick.

It is Wednesday and I have essentially gotten nothing done in regard to my coursework. I have to get a rough draft written of a very big essay project. I have a midterm to take that consists of a dozen essay questions. I have four chapters to read and take notes on as well. Oh, and there is also the participation in class discussion that I am required to do.

My house is a mess. Laundry is piling up, and so are the dishes. I am not entirely sure when I showered last. Ya gross, I know.... but that is what happens when your little one is sick. You take care of them and somehow taking care of yourself gets lost in the chaos.

This morning Meechi woke up and actually did not have a fever, so I thought he was on the mend. Then he decided his legs didn't work. I am not sure exactly what the deal was with this one folks! He was actually trying to convince me that he could not walk and that his legs did not work. He nearly had me convinced it was true for awhile actually. It was kinda scary! I think that he has those terrible muscle aches that go along with the flu. Since he has never experienced anything like that before it freaked him (and me) out a bit. After I convinced him that I could not carry him around all day and that he should at least attempt to walk, he was managing a stiff kneed robot walk. Once the Tylenol kicked in he lost the robot look and was walking, albeit slowly, like a normal person again. Needless to say, I have gotten nothing done this morning as my time has been dedicated to determining whether or not my child had been consumed by some horrible leg-killing disease. OK, that might be overstating it a bit, but you know what I mean. I don't call him my drama-king for nothing.

I really do plan to do the follow-up post to my little blast-from-the-past post. I am just not sure when I will get to it. Honestly, it will probably not happen until next week. For now I need to chisel away at this mountain piled up miles high on top of me. I really didn't even have time for this post, but had to take a little mental break so here ya go.

Revisiting the Past to Get to the Present

2011-02-10T10:35:00.000-08:00

I am re-posting something from our adoption blog here. I am sure most people who read this blog are not familiar with everything we went through during the adoption process. It was difficult and we encountered several problems along the way. I realize that nearly every international adoption is full of issues, but ours were mostly related to the infamous AIP. I have some things on my mind that I really want to post about, but some backstory needs to be told in order for it to really make sense. That is why I am revisiting what I wrote back on April 27, 2007. Frank was in Kaz on the trip to pick up Meechi, and I was back home with our older kids.

Now it is important to mention before you read on, that while in Kaz I had written a post that was meant to be funny. Funny does not often translate well in written form! I caught a lot, and I mean a LOT of crap from people over it. There were others that understood it was a joke and found it very funny, but I am afraid they were the minority. Part of my thoughts from April of 07 revolve around the backlash of that post. It is also important to know that this 2nd trip, a trip that took most of AIP's clients around 5-7 days, lasted nearly 17 days for us.

April 27, 2007

Frank asked for me to continue posting for him. He says that with a 15 month... NO WAIT, today is the 28th! (28th in Kaz, 27th in the US) make that a 16 month old baby to chase he doesn't have a lot of time to spend on the internet. What little time he does have he would rather spend chatting with me than blogging. So I will keep blogging for him. He also said that he likes the way I write because he thinks I do a good job of "painting a picture" with words.

Yeah right! Because my writing and my words have done us so much good so far. I've only apparently pissed off half the nation of Kazakhstan with my post. Second only to the Borat guy as most hated person in that country. Certainly most hated by AIP's staff in Kaz. So yes, I sure do a great job sculpting words into the kind of thing that brings out raw emotion in people!!!!

I am very upset with myself right now. I feel like Frank and Dmitrii are being treated like last month's garbage and it's all MY fault. Would they still be there if it weren't for me? At the very least would Almagul at least talk to him and let him know what the hell they are waiting on? Is it my fault that things might be f#*#*d up on purpose for them right now? The sad answer is a very big maybe to all of those questions. Do any of us deserve it? I have to say the answer to that one is an even bigger HELL NO. People tick me off at work all the time but do I think "i will now wait until the last possible day i can legally get away with putting off getting your shit done to do it"? Well... okay ya I think it but i certainly don't do it! No, I do what I always do and get it done within 3 days instead of the 30 I am allowed by law. And it's a federal law too not just a state thing. (sorry couldn't' resist throwing in my favorite line from the movie Scrooged)

This of course is not the only thing that has me upset and all filled with girly emotions. Bleh! (sickening isn't it?) I really wish I were there with my husband and my son right now. As much as I really, really, really hated being there... I would give almost anything to be there right now. I am missing out on so much with Dmitrii. That's not the toughest part though because I know once he is home that everything will be new all over again and I will get to experience all the wonder and excitement that I am missing right now. I just wish I could be there for the both of them. Frank is doing a great job of taking care of Dmitrii. I am so proud of him. That may sound silly to some of you, but I am. We are talking about a man who has never taken care of a one year old before and here he is doing it all by himself. It takes a lot of courage, strength and love to do what he is over there doing. So yes, I am very proud of him and of what an amazing father he is.

I wish I could be there to help him. I remember being a parent for the first time. When something happens that you've never had to deal with comes up... you don't really know what to do. First instincts are usually right but not always. Some things are just trial and error. And when it takes a few efforts to finally get it right you question yourself and wonder if you really can do this. When your little one cries and you can't figure out what they need or what to do because you've done everything you can think of and none of it has helped... you just want to cry yourself sometimes. I remember that all very well and Cheyenne is nearly 13 now, the memories of those feelings don't fade with time. So, I wish I were there to help. Just in case. I wish that I were there for Dmitrii and for Frank in case something comes up that makes Frank feel those things. I don't want him to have to feel like maybe he was wrong to think he could do this. He can do it and I know he will do it well. It's just easier to do it when there are 2 of you.

Of course me going on this 2nd trip was just not an option for us. I am not talking about the fact that I hated the travel and did not want to go through that again and not even the fact that I really didn't want to leave Cheyenne and Christian again. We just could not financially pull off both of us going back.

Most of you know how hard we worked to raise the money for this adoption. We did so many fundraisers and garage sales and anything else we could think of. I worked so many Saturdays and spent so many lunch hours sitting at my desk eating my lunch as I worked just to get some overtime pay to put toward the adoption. In the end we still had to get a pretty big loan in order to complete the adoption. (there is a whole other story behind that which i plan to save as a post of it's own with a very BIG thank you to my sister) Anyway... we are not one of those families who can just pull that kind of money out of the bank. It was hard for us to make this adoption happen but we did it. So for us to spend another $2000 on a plane ticket and for both of us to take another month without pay?!?!?!?!? Really, really NOT an option. So here I sit while my husband and son are half the world away feeling guilty that I am not there to help.

(I wasn't sure whether i would put all of this part in my post or not. I thought maybe in another post or maybe not of all. I think it fits here though and it certainly fits my mood, so here it is)

Of course the money thing is another issue that has been on my mind off and on over the last year. As I read the blogs of so many other people who talked about their big fancy houses and going to the country club or out for a weekend on the boat (boat my ass, try yacht) I felt kind of pathetic. Now, I LOVE where we live. I think our house is cozy and comfortable. I know a lot of other people would not feel that way though. We don't go to country clubs and we sure as shit don't own a boat. While others were dealing with their "stress" by taking vacations to get away from having to dwell on the waiting and the paperwork... we were dealing with the stress of wondering if we really could come up with enough money to finish the adoption. Of course we knew that if we didn't get the rest we would still never get back all the money we had already put into the adoption. Of course not getting the money back would have paled in comparison of the pain we would have had to endure by never getting our son. (and yes i know we are not the only people who have had to do all this in order to adopt, but it feels that way when you are doing it)

So.... All that going through my head made me wonder from time to time if whatever baby we got might not have a better life with a family that didn't have to work so hard to pay for an adoption. Now, don't worry. Those were just passing thoughts that would come and go. I know that Dmitrii belongs with us. He will fit in well with this family. His personality is so very much like ours. He's only 1 and he is already a bit of a smartass.

I came to realize that all that material crap was just that... crap. Maybe we didn't have a large house or a boat or country club membership. Maybe we couldn't just whisk away for a weekend whenever we wanted to. What we did have though is worth more. We had the desire and the determination to make our dream of a son a reality. Everything we did we did to bring home our son. He is worth every extra hour of work, every thing we sacrificed or gave up to save money. Every bit of criticism we received by people who had a problem with our fundraising to help pay for the adoption. He is worth all that and more. He is our son, heart and soul.... brought into our family with blood, sweat and tears. (okay maybe not blood but that's part of the saying... and i think i did get a papercut or two so that counts as blood right?)

Anyway... my point is that Dmitrii is well loved and will be so very well taken care of. He has a home now (if they would only let him get here) and a family that loves him very much. I think that's all he really needs. And if I had any doubts left, Christian did a good job getting rid of them for me. A couple of days ago, out of the blue, he looked at me and said "you are a great mom". I gave him a big hug for that one. He is a great son too!

Something for Me

2011-02-09T08:39:00.001-08:00

While we were down in NC visiting the daddy, I entered a blog contest over at Hedgetoad Kids. The prize was a $50 giftcard to CSNstores.com which is a pretty awesome online store. By some miracle I won! Yay me! It took me a few days of shopping around on the site before deciding what to buy. My first thought was to get something for Meechi, but he just got Christmas and birthday presents so it wasn't as if he really needed anything. My next thought was maybe something for one of the older kids, but it didn't seem fair to get for one and not the other. I considered something for the whole family and even considered something for the dog. I finally decided on getting something for myself. I never get anything for myself. I figured I won the giftcard, I may as well use it to bring myself a little joy.

I have been wanting to decorate the living room since we moved into this house over a year and a half ago. Spending money on the stuff to do so... well, I am just not the kind of person that can justify frivolity when there are necessities to be bought. So I have put it off again and again. With my wonderful giftcard courtesy of Hedgetoad Mama and CSNstores, I was finally able to justify buying something I have wanted for quite some time now. I bought a rug! Ok, I know that doesn't sound very exciting, but when you live in a rental house the carpets tend to leave a lot to be desired. The ugly, tan, worn-out carpet in this place is certainly not the greatest to look at, nor is it the softest to sit or walk on. An area rug is just what this room needed.

here is the ugly carpet and the cute kid

here is the cute kid loving the new rug

Looks so much better now. and Meechi loves playing on it

Of course now that I have the rug it makes me want to get curtains, some bookshelves, some wall hangings, a painting.....

To Write or Not To Write

2011-02-07T12:30:00.000-08:00

I have become one of the worst bloggers in the history of the world lately. I have a million excuses why I've been too busy to blog. The biggest truth though is that I just don't know if there is really any reason for me to keep blogging. A good portion of what I blogged about was trying to find help for Meechi in learning to cope with and overcome his challenges. With no diagnosis and no plans to search for one on the horizon, the quest for help has hit a dead end. There are times I think that I should blog about an incident that occurred or an issue that he seems to be really struggling with at that moment, but then I wonder why I should. I can share the experience but I have no helpful information to share about how to deal with it. I don't want this to become a place that feels like I am just complaining about the challenges we face in raising a child that obviously has special needs, but doesn't seem to fit any particular diagnosis.

So I wonder over and over if I should just scrap this blog. Does anyone even read it? Does it really matter whether or not they do? Part of me views this a journal for myself and for my son. Of course a journal for us certainly does not need to be publicized. I guess the question is, why blog if it doesn't offer anything to anyone?

On a more pleasant note... Meechi enjoyed his trip to visit his daddy. We were delayed in getting home a couple of days due to the snowstorm that hit the country. Here are a few photos of Meechi's adventures on our trip.

children's museum

bowling

hockey in the park

visiting the dad

2011-01-20T11:22:00.000-08:00

We are visiting Meechi's daddy who is working out of state again this hockey season. Internet connection here is terrible, but I wanted to post a little about what we've been up to. Pictures will have to wait until we have a better connection though. (ok, i managed to get one to load, it is from our nature walk)

Meechi was able to continue his 5th bday celebration with a good lunch (buffet style, which is his favorite way to eat) and more gifts. Daddy did a great job picking out things that Meechi loves including building blocks, a doctor kit including the coat that is really cute, and some toy sharks. Some of the hockey players got him gifts too which was really nice of them. Thanks to them we have lots of games to play while we are here.

Speaking of hockey, Meechi has been to practice with daddy a few times. He loves going and has become great buddies with all of the players. He has also had a little time out on the ice shooting the puck. He had several people say that "he is a natural" when it comes to shooting the puck and even has a pretty impressive slapshot for such a little kid. Now if we can just teach him to skate we'll be in good shape. He was supposed to skate the past couple of evenings, but they did not have skates in his size. He has some at home, but since I wasn't checking bags and taking them all on the plane with us, skates didn't seem like a good idea to try and get through security. His daddy is getting some small skates from someone he knows and Meechi will get out on the ice next week with skates on. Last year he didn't really want anything to do with trying to skate, but this year he is asking, so hopefully it goes well.

We have been trying to find some things to keep us busy while we are here and give Meechi a chance to run around and play. We found a children's museum that he enjoyed quite a bit. I have been to nicer ones, but I have been to worse ones as well, so it was a good way to spend an afternoon. Yesterday we visited a park with nature trails and a big nature center. Meechi enjoyed looking at the animals in the nature center. They had both stuffed versions and some live animals as well. He like the live possum the best, I think. They also had tote bags full of activities that could be checked out for a week. We checked out a tote that had "mammal" activities. There are some story books, a game, and even the stuff to make animal tracks using some plaster mixture. Fun stuff to keep us busy.

Most importantly, Meechi is having a good time hanging out with his daddy.

Why Meechi's December birthday sucks

2011-01-03T08:50:00.000-08:00

Meechi has a December birthday. It sucks! His birthday is the 28th, which makes it suck even more. Three days after Christmas is just a lousy time to have a birthday. The only thing I can think of that would suck more is having a birthday on the 25th.

December birthdays suck because everyone is way too busy thinking about the holiday. By the time the 28th comes around everyone is worn out from it all. Nobody wants to eat cake because they've eaten way too much cookies, cake, candy and pie already. Presents aren't such a big deal because you've already gotten some a few days before. Mom and Dad don't have as much to spend on your birthday because they've just bought gifts for the whole darn family and they are tapped out.

It is really easy for a December birthday to get lost in the holiday shuffle.

So how do we go about making Meechi's birthday special?
I wish I had a great answer for that one, but I don't. This year his birthday really did get sort of lost. I took him to the zoo on his birthday. It is his favorite place on earth so he really did enjoy his day. He got to eat lunch at the zoo which I normally don't do since the food is overpriced but since it was his birthday we did it. He enjoyed watching the peacock strut by while he ate and his lunch came in a cool, plastic bear lunchbox that he got to keep. It's a little thing, but he liked it. We stopped in the gift shop on the way out and he got to pick out a couple of toy animals, one of which the dog chewed up within 3 minutes of us walking in the door. After the zoo we went for ice cream. That was it though. That was his whole birthday. No cake, no party, no presents.

He did get presents (and will get even more soon actually), he just didn't get them on his birthday. His daddy wasn't there and neither were his brother and sister. That meant a very low-key birthday and waiting until the rest of the family could be around to celebrate. Three days after his birthday we went to lunch with his brother and sister and then to the toy store where he picked out a couple of toys. So once again he kind of got ripped out of the birthday fun. No packages to open. Just pick out some toys and here ya go. Happy birthday.

Tomorrow we will take cupcakes to school to celebrate his birthday there.

We will see his daddy (who is working out of state again for awhile) in a week or so and maybe then Meechi will get to have something that resembles what a real birthday should be. There will be gifts, hopefully wrapped, another meal out and possibly cake although I am still not in the mood for any.

So, to answer the question of how we are making Meechi's birthday special...
I guess this year we are dragging it out into a month long series of mini-celebrations. Not real special, but it is what it is.

Does anyone have any experience with late December birthdays? What do you do to make them special and to really make them stand out from Christmas?

My baby boy is five now. It seems like such a milestone birthday to me. The age a child goes from being still just a baby to actually becoming a little kid. It should have been a bigger deal. Not just the celebrating but the entire occasion. It fell flat. I think that is, for me, because he doesn't really seem like a five year old to me. Part of it is that this was only his 4th birthday with us and part of it is because he is not developmentally five. Well, more on that in another post. I think it warrants its own! For now just enjoy some pictures from Meechi's birthday trip to the zoo.

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011

2010-12-31T16:37:00.001-08:00

do not head-butt the dog!

2010-11-30T19:27:00.000-08:00

I came across a really cool meme today. It is called Sticky Note Tuesday, and is hosted by That One Mom. Looked like a fun way to deliver Meechi's latest escapades. So I am giving it a try.

Thrown for a loop

2010-11-21T16:19:00.001-08:00

I have become very familiar with non-typical behavior. Enough so that it actually just seems typical to me. Still, there are some days that something happens that is such an over-the-top overreaction that it leaves me a bit stunned.

Meechi's behavior has been good lately. Not totally good, and not all the time, but far beyond what we have seen in the past. Mostly we just deal with him becoming unregulated by sensory overload which we try to avoid by staying away from situations that can be overstimulating.

Maybe it is this new level of "good" behavior that put me off guard. Or, maybe it is the fact that he still hasn't shown us all there is to see and so I really can be surprised by his reactions to some things. Whatever it is, today he threw me off balance.

Meechi had asked me for some more juice. I told him to wait just a minute and I would get him some more. No, he is not good at waiting. I know that, and I expect it. I expect him to continually pester me. I expect him to ask every five seconds for more juice and to get louder each time. I expect him to pitch a fit that he is not getting what he wants right away. I expect it, and that is a big part of why I try to ignore it and to make him wait. Life is certainly not full of instant gratification and I am not going to raise him to expect that will be. So, I tell him to wait and I do not give in to the constant pestering.

I do my best to calmly remind him that he needs to wait just a few minutes. Sometimes he is actually ok with it. It works best when I can give him something tangible to track the time with. He is only four, he has no concept of what 5 minutes is or the ability to tell time. So, I can say "wait for a commercial" if the TV is on, or "wait until I am done reading this page" and move my finger down the page for him to see where I am at. He is getting to the point that this will work about 50% of the time. It's progress. Slow progress, but progress.

I love it when he has those moments of understanding and really does try to wait. Still, it is not what I really expect to happen. I expect the constant pestering. So today, when I didn't get the understanding or the pestering it took me by surprise. More surprising though was what did happen. Meechi attempted to hurry the process along by finding his cup and bringing it to me. That is not a new thing, he does it all the time. Today though, he found the wrong cup. He managed to come across a cup from yesterday that he had misplaced at some point during the day. Normally, he would come at me shaking the cup in my face to get my attention. Today he decided that the last little bit of liquid in the cup was going to be good enough.

That last bit of drink in the cup? It never gets drunk. He has this aversion to actually emptying a cup. If he has to tip the cup up very far to get something out of it, he deems it not worth his time. It frustrates the crap out of me that he will never drink those last few drinks. So when I saw that cup in his hand I never expected him to actually try and drink out of it. But... that is what he did.

Of course all I could remember was giving him some chocolate milk yesterday in that cup. I had visions of him sucking in sour, chunky clumps of day old milk. So, I did what most moms would do. I quickly shouted, "don't drink that". This is the point that the overreaction occurred. No, I don't mean my overreaction. I mean his.

What would most kids do in this situation? What would your kid do? (seriously, i want to know. leave a comment and tell me!) What did my kid do?

He lost it. His mouth dropped open and he started to loudly scream and cry. Giant tears ran down his face. His mouth, full of what was actually watered down diet soda and not chunky milk, hung open. The watered down soda flowed out of his mouth like Niagara Falls. It flowed all over his shirt, the floor, the couch, and my shirt. He ran across the room where he buried his face in my shoulder, mouth still open and screaming/flowing soda. The poor kids stayed there for ten minutes. He was so upset and crying uncontrollably. I held him and comforted him and assured him it was not really a big deal that he had taken a drank of flat soda.

What caused the reaction? Was it me shouting? Probably. But, why such a severe reaction? Did he think I was mad? Did he think he had been poisoned? Was he scared? Sad? Freaked out? It is not the first time I have shouted about something to him. He doesn't react like that when I shout for him to stop jumping on the bed as he is about to fly off the edge.

Whatever was going on with him, it took me by surprise. I expect a lot of non-typical behaviors. But it seems like the overreacting to things is the one that always gets to me the most. Will he always be so overly sensitive? Will he always have extreme reactions when life throws him for a loop?

It doesn't seem so long ago

2010-11-10T10:54:00.000-08:00

It is National Adoption Awareness month, so naturally I have been thinking back about our adoption journey. That led me to looking through the old adoption blog. I cannot believe it was FOUR years ago that we received the following email:

**This email is to inform you that your translated dossier has been sent to the Embassy of Kazakhstan in Washington DC. After your dossier is processed at the Embassy, it will be sent to Kazakhstan. This is your last stretch of waiting before you receive your letter of invitation! I will update you again when your dossier comes out of the Embassy and goes over to Kazakhstan.**

That was such an exciting day for us. Things had been moving so incredibly slowly up until that point. It finally started to feel as though we were actually getting close to holding our son in our arms.

I needed that piece of good news that day since just a couple of weeks before a pipe in our bathroom had broken and flooded the room we were preparing for the baby.

He has an impressive imagination for sure!

2010-11-09T17:32:00.000-08:00

I sometimes forget about this blog since I post pictures and what we are up to on Facebook all the time. I have to remind myself that not everyone is on Facebook and that there are people who only get a glimpse into the life of Meech through this blog. :)

This year for Halloween, Meechi came up with his very own idea for what he wanted to be. I am not sure where or how he came up with this one, but I think it proves what i have said before about him having an extremely well developed imagination. When asked what he wanted to be for Halloween he said, "A zombie bee". It sounded like a good idea to me, so I managed to not only put together a Zom-Bee costume for him, but also a Zom-Bee Keeper costume for myself.

i never seem to post here anymore. honestly with no evaluations, therapies, or doctor visits to worry about there is not a whole lot interesting going on. Meechi continues to improve in behavior and development. His speech has made amazing progress and he is talking pretty well these days and can even have actual conversations now. He still has meltdowns, especially in the car for some reason, but they are not as frequent. He does still have some pretty major ones from time to time though, and i really wish I knew the cause so I could better get an idea of how to deal with it all. We're doing what we can though and things are getting better.

if only

2010-10-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

I watch as he slowly climbs up the stairs of the play equipment. He runs along the pathways chasing after the other children playing there. Chasing each other about they smile and laugh. Then the other children dash for the slide and away they go, slipping quickly to the bottom. He stand there at the top of the slide watching the other kids laughing, playing, and running off for more adventures without him. His smile is gone, the laughter in his eyes is replaced with fear and sadness. He takes a tiny step toward and then turns and walks back toward the stairs. He sits at the top step and slowly makes his way down the steps. One at a time he scoots his bottom down the steps until he reaches the ground. Looking around he searches for something and someone to play with. All around him other children swing and slide and climb and have fun. He stands there watching, stuck in the loneliness. If only...

If only his SPD didn't prevent him from enjoying the pleasures of childhood.

Meechi suffers from sensory aversion to anything that involves his feet being off the ground or heights. These are attributes of his vestibular defensiveness. People with vestibular defensiveness often have a fear of heights as they are gravitationally insecure, and are overly anxious about falling as they feel unstable on their own feet. That is Meechi and it is why he struggles not just with the physical difficulties it causes but also with the emotional and social problems that result from his inability to play like a typical child.

The Ballad of the Cowboy's Pants

2010-09-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

Meechi has what is possibly the greatest imagination I have ever seen in a kid. He shows this through play all the time, but what is more fun is that he shows it through song. The kid loves to sing. Rarely does he sing a song with it's actual words though. He is always adding his own twists to his favorite tunes. Lately he has even been making up his own songs.

This video is of Meechi gracing us with a song of his own creation while we were about 19 hours into our 22 hour drive to New York. He was a bit.... goofy.

Anyone daring enough to try and translate? Give me your best guesses at what he is singing!
I understand most of it, and will post soon with his beautiful (haha) lyrics.

Maybe it's the car

2010-09-24T15:43:00.001-07:00

After about three weeks of relative peace and ease, some typical "Meech" behaviors resurfaced today.

Bossiness abounds! While I talking with his daddy in the car, Meechi was yelling, "Hey mom! Hey mom! Don't talk to Daddy! You talk to me!" I informed him that he was being bossy and that if he didn't stop he would be getting a time-out when we got home. He stopped telling me not to talk to his daddy, but he did keep trying to find ways to get my attention focused on him.

Later while singing a silly song with him and having fun , he started trying to be bossy by telling me how to sing. I had been singing in silly voices that he thought was funny. Suddenly he decided he should tell me which silly voice to use each time. He would get mad if I used a different voice. I stopped playing, telling him that it is no fun to play with him if he was going to be bossy. He insisted he was not bossy, but didn't push the issue of me singing his song. This took place in the car as well.

Just before we arrived home he noticed his shoe was untied. He told me to tie his shoe. Yes, told me, not asked me. "I can't tie your shoe because I'm driving. AND you're being bossy again" I told him. He kept insisting he needed his shoe tied and was crying about it, "you are mean. I need my shoe tied. You need to tie my shoe. You are mean".

After arriving home he wanted to watch a movie. I went to put it in for him and he came running shouting, "I put it in. I put it in." I probably should have made a point of doing it myself since he was being a touch bossy again, but I just let that one go. I let him put it in and then I left the room to get a little Meechi-free time.

There was another incidence of bossiness when we first left the house, but I don't remember exactly what it was. I just remember the conversation that followed. I told him that he was being bossy and rude and he needed to change his attitude. He proceeded to tell me, "I'm not bossy. You are bossy. I'm not bossy and Daddy's not bossy. You are bossy". My response to that was that I am bossy because I am the boss so I'm allowed to be bossy and he is not. From the back seat I heard, "You are not the boss, you are just bossy".

I'm thinking maybe it's the car. For some reason the worst of his episodes happen in the car. I am beginning to think the fact that I can't look at him or focus attention on him when I am driving causes him to act out. When I think about all of the worst outbursts he has had, most of them have been in the car.

The Behavioral Psychologist

2010-09-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

Last week's appointment with the behavioral psychologist was..... interesting? No, actually it was the opposite of interesting. It was lame and stupid and pointless.

It was as though the man had no clue why we were there. Despite the fact that he has ALL of Meechi's medical, school and OT/PT records. I was actually so dumbfounded by his apparent cluelessness that I mostly sat there quietly, waiting for him to actually bring up the reason we were there. Never happened. Ya sure, I should have said something. Frank should have said something. Neither of us did. We were...... dazed and confused.

So what actually happened?

The guy spent the entire hour doing a therapy session for Meechi's "anger management" issues. ???? Ya!
He went on to give us lots of advice (and handouts) about parenting techniques. We are apparently supposed to use time-outs, be consistent, and make sure Meechi understands we are the ones in charge.
Thanks doc! Never thought of that before! (in case you didn't realize, that was sarcasm)
I am not new to this parenting thing. Even when I was a new parent at the ripe old age of 22, I knew how to be consistent and to give consequences for bad behavior.

The doc wants us to bring Meechi back for regular therapy sessions. At $135 a visit.
Hmmmm.... I think that explains why he would rather do therapy than actually evaluate the kid to see if he has one of the disorders we are actually concerned about. You know, the kinds of disorders that are not fixed with regular parenting techniques like time-outs.

We won't be going back.

Thankfully, Meechi's behavior has greatly improved recently. I think this is due in huge part to his improved communication skills. He is speaking really well now, and is able to express his thoughts and wants and needs. It is making a big difference all around.

So, I have officially given up on looking for a diagnosis. I simply don't care anymore. I am joining the ranks of parents who say, "my kid doesn't need a label". It seems that nothing I do is going to lead to Meechi receiving services like occupational therapy. So, we will just continue to do what we can on our own. Honestly, it seems to be working, and that is all we really need.

another appointment today

2010-09-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

We are on our way to the behavioral psychologist in a little while.

Meechi's behavior the past few weeks makes me wonder why we are even going. I know that if we don't go and his behaviors return (which lets face it, is quite likely) then I will kick myself for not going. So we're going.

I am finishing up my list of all the challenging behaviors right now so I will have them. I wasn't prepared at the appt with the developmental pediatrician to tell him every concern we had/have. I had written them down on paperwork I had sent to his office. I had assumed he would have read all that. ???? He asked me all the questions I had already answered, including listing concerns. It is hard enough to do that when you have a week or so to fill out paperwork and add things as you remember them or as they occur. To sit and have to remember them all in a few minutes is impossible. So, today I am taking a list. Thank God for blogging, because I have been able to print a couple of my posts and pull things from those.

I'll update later and let everyone know how the appointment went.

crazy easy

2010-09-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in awhile. The truth is that life has been both crazy and easy. I know, contradiction in terms, but it fits us right now. With back to school, a lot of appointments, a death in the family (my father-in-law, i'll post more on this later) getting more involved in church, and life in general... well, life is crazy. Meechi himself has been like some alien being who has come to earth to replace the wild little beast we are used to. He has been fairly calm (for him), is dealing with situations better, and has been pretty well behaved lately. Odd, but I'll take it!

For now I'll leave you with a few photos of Meechi playing outside. It was a really weird weather day... the sun was shining and it was raining. Meechi enjoyed being able to play in the rain.

silly smile

playing in puddles

trecking through the rain

he was "fighting the rain" swinging a stick at it

see y'all later... i'm outta here!

time in the manor

2010-08-23T06:21:00.000-07:00

One of Meechi's latest fascinations is meerkats. He discovered the show Meerkat Manor a month or so ago and he loves it. We are lucky enough to have meerkats in our local zoo. Even more fortunate is the fact that they recently had babies. So we just had to take a trip to the zoo to visit the baby meerkats when they allowed them out of the nursery and into the exhibit.

excited to see those meerkats

digging for breakfast

digging in the burrow

Meechi and the meerkats

and the babies!

Running down the list. How about ODD?

2010-08-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

I know I probably shouldn't be scouring the internet researching different types of "disorders" trying to figure out which fits Meechi. "Self-diagnosing" is not something doctors want their patients (or parents of their patients) doing, and it's not something I really agree with doing either. I can't seem to help myself though. I think the biggest part of it is the fact that I feel like I should be doing something for Meechi right now. How can I do anything if I don't know what it is that he needs help to overcome in the first place?!?

So, scouring the internet I am! I'm looking through different "disorders" and comparing Meechi's behaviors to the lists of signs and symptoms for each one. Of course I need a place to keep track of it, so this will be the place.

RAD was first on the list. Next on the list is ODD or Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I have to say that this is one that I am strongly praying is NOT the issue we will be facing!

Here is what I've found on ODD...

In children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), there is an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that seriously interferes with the youngster’s day to day functioning. Symptoms of ODD may include:

Frequent temper tantrums
Excessive arguing with adults
Often questioning rules
Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
Frequent anger and resentment
Mean and hateful talking when upset
Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking

How does Meechi factor in on these symptoms?
Frequent temper tantrums? Yep
Excessive arguing? Yep
Questioning rules? No, not really
Active defiance and refusal to comply? Yep
Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people? Not sure on this one. I do see it, but not sure it is often enough to call it a definite yes.
Blaming others for his mistakes? Sort of. Does yelling at his toy for falling when he is the one that dropped it or knocked it down count? Does getting mad at us when he does something wrong count? If the answer to those is yes, well then... yes.
Mean and hateful talking when upset? Yep
Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking? I haven't really seen this one in him.

That is too many Yes answers for my comfort!
None of these behaviors are happening all the time. Some will occur a few times a day, some maybe once a day, and others less frequently. Very few of them seem to occur at school.

Now for the really freaky part of this ODD idea. When I started researching different disorders this week, I remembered that back when Meechi was two I was discussing behaviors with another mom who had adopted her son at the same time and from the same orphanage as we adopted Meechi. We were comparing behaviors and the boys shared quite a few! I knew we had emailed each other several times about all this, so I went back through the old emails with her. I remembered finding some disorder that seemed to fit our boys behaviors and had talked with her about it. I found the email and guess what that disorder was? ODD! How strange that back in March of 2008 I had found this exact disorder and wondered if it was something Meechi had.

Back to school

2010-08-18T07:33:00.001-07:00

Meechi went back to school today. It's his 2nd year in this Pre-K class and he went back like an old pro. No crying, no whining, no major emotional meltdowns, none of that separation anxiety junk. Woohoo! He was actually really excited to go to school this morning and was in a great mood. We walked into the classroom and he spotted one of his friends from last year and shouted "Hey! I know that Dude!" okay, not really.... but he did say, "hey! there he is". He is actually tall enough to hang his backpack on the hook by himself this year without having to climb up on the little shelf to do it. He sat right down at his desk and wrote his name, remembering the routine quite well from last year. Then he gave me a kiss, told me he loved me and said "bye". So out the door I went with a look back at him, he looked at me and gave me one last wave and was off to the puzzles.

Now for the cuteness...

RAD.... what is your perception?

2010-08-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

RAD
Here is the list of signs/symptoms that I was familiar with:

SYMPTOMS OF RAD

Superficially engaging and "charming" behavior

Indiscriminate affection toward strangers

Lack of affection with parents on their terms (not cuddly)

Little eye contact with parents, on normal terms

Persistent nonsense questions and incessant chatter *

Lying about the obvious (crazy lying)

Stealing

Destructive behavior to self, others, and material things (accident prone) *

Abnormal eating patterns

No impulse controls (frequently acts hyperactive) *

Lags in learning

Abnormal speech patterns *

Poor peer relationships *

Lack of cause-and-effect thinking

Lack of conscience

Cruelty to animals

Preoccupation with fire

Is it just me? or do most of you parents with adopted kids think of the things on that list when thinking of RAD? I've seen those same things in many books, on many websites and on message boards. Based on the items on that list, Meechi does not fit the symptoms of RAD. I put an asterisk behind the ones that Meechi displays, and a couple of those are only sometimes. Four out of seventeen doesn't seem like a match to me.

Recently I was given a much more detailed list of signs/symptoms for attachment disorder. Some of them are on that first list, but described in more detail, and others are not on it at all. Based on these symptoms, Meechi does fit. This list was given to me by a friend who is dealing with attachment issues with her own son, who was adopted from the same orphanage as Meechi.

Here is the info she shared with me: (my comments about meechi will be in purple)

The child will attempt to control adults, including mom and dad. Control can come in many forms. The child may have to have things in a certain way or a fit ensues. Hitting, spitting and biting others. He does spit (more of a raspberry than an actually spit globber) at people when they don't do what he wants. Helplessness, as in acting like they can’t walk or flopping on the floor so you have to drag them. Meechi doesn't do do things like flop but he will claim (very insistent) he can't do things that we know he can. Being overly dramatic with a minor injury or faking an injury. Clinginess, extremely demanding and pushiness. Extremely! Overly dependent or overly independent (or switch back and forth). Meechi is definitely overly dependent. Exaggerated compliance with instructions. For example if you tell the child to put his shoes on he will so it in super slow motion, purposely on the wrong feet or some other inappropriate way.

Some of the other signs of attachment issues are:

Aggression – hitting, biting, spitting, kicking yes to spitting, but the hitting, kicking and biting he does only with inanimate objects and not with people

Combativeness - Clothes changes, baths etc are a nightmare. Must have the last word or action. sometimes, but not always
Power Struggles – Having to tell the child NO a hundred times before they comply. If told to go into Time Out they will make a huge deal out of it rather than quietly sit for a few minutes and be done with it. this one is a half n half. we do have to tell him no a hundred times before he complies, but he goes into time out very easily (says he doesn't want to go but doesn't fight it) and sits until I tell him to get up.

Deep seeded rage and anger – Child will throw extended fits. Slamming doors, hitting walls, screaming etc. Well beyond a typical tantrums. this is not something he would typically do Lack of eye contact or will stare you down no, not at all

Interest in or Sexual actions that you would not expect from a very small child. no comment... eyes up here mister!

Lying and Stealing or hiding things no, not at all

Preoccupation with blood, gore and fire he liked violent cartoons and video games (both of which he is no longer allowed to watch, or rather his older brother is no longer allowed to have them on when Meechi is around) but I think most kids find that stuff funny. he has no real life fascination with any of that.

Poor peer relationships – does not relate well to other kids this one fits, but it is getting better. he was actually playing trucks WITH another little boy when we picked him up from Sunday school last week!!!

Food - only eat certain foods a certain way. Must eat on a blue plate with a green spoon or a fit ensues. he went through this stage, but has moved beyond it.

Being mean to animals. Directly or covertly as in petting too hard No, not at all. He used to be terrified of animals, but has gotten over that but he is really nice to animals. He actually LOVES animals so much that I often say he will be a zoologist when he grows up.

Stiff when held, pushes away or bristle hugs. Does not melt into you No, not at all. He is a sweetheart who loves to hug and snuggle!

Covert hostility – bashing into you or digging chin into your shoulder when you hug This is something he actually did when he first came home over three years ago. He would dig his chin in and sometimes bite my shoulder when I was holding him. That stage didn't last more than a few weeks though.

Affection only on the child’s terms - Will hug and let you hold them but only the way they want and when they want. Will resist if you initiate affection. No, not at all. If I ask for a hug or kiss or ask him to come sit on my lap he runs right over to me for a snuggle.

Lack of proper emotion and conscience – In particular not having empathy when someone is hurt. Or thinking it’s funny or gaining pleasure from another’s pain. The teachers at his preschool have commented that he does not show empathy when another child is hurt or upset. We don't get much chance to witness this for ourselves, but I have seen instances of it. As for thinking it's funny when someone gets hurt.... i am on the fence on that one. He's never seen anyone get seriously hurt. He will laugh at someone stubbing a toe or getting a bonk on the head, but I have always viewed that in an "America's funniest home videos is nothing but videos of people doing stupid crap and getting hurt and we ALL laugh at that" kind of way.

Stemming - (as seen in autism) such as moving body in rhythmic motion; rocking front and back or side-to-side, scratching; rubbing the skin with one's hands or with an external object, licking body parts; licking an object, just to name a few. Meechi does do some of this, anyone reading this blog for long knows that he went through a terrible phase of licking his hand so badly that he gave himself impetigo on his chin.

No Impulse Control I would say this one is sometimes an issue for him.

So there ya go. There is the long list and how Meechi ranks on that one.
I can definitely say that this list gives me a different perception of RAD. It is not all about things that we would normally perceive as "attachment" related. And yet, it is the lack of those loving, nurturing attachments that wreak such havoc in these kids minds and in their lives.

Seriously folks.....
PLEASE consider adopting a child!

If not autism, then what?

2010-08-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

After over a year of believing Meechi is on the autism spectrum, first thinking PDD-NOS and then aspergers, we were told he is not. The long awaited appointment with the developmental pediatrician resulted in a very secure "no" from the doc. As I mentioned in my last post, he has referred us on to a behavioral psychologist to get to the bottom of Meechi's issues.

The dev ped mentioned the idea of RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) which I immediately dismissed because it has NEVER occurred to me that Meechi has an attachment disorder. I found the idea crazy because he seems so very well attached to everyone in the family. However, I am learning that many of the sings of these so-called attachment disorders do indeed fit Meechi.

Coincidentally many of the signs of RAD are also signs of autism. How strange that two completely different issues, with unrelated causes (one neurological and one the result of neglect in early childhood) would share so many signs and symptoms. While I can now admit that Meechi does show many of the signs of an attachment disorder, I still take issue with the idea that it is really an "attachment" disorder. It seems to me to be just a name given to this trauma that doesn't really fit. Any of the signs or symptoms that actually involve attachment are the ones that Meechi does not display. I HATE the idea that he may end up with a diagnosis of an "attachment disorder" when I have no doubts that he is in fact attached to us. Can't they come up with a better name for it?

I know that full blown RAD kids do indeed have trouble attaching and trusting their parents. I know that it is neither the fault of the parents or the child. It all relates from the trauma and neglect of those first years.

Maybe I am taking it all too personally. But I am sure I am not the first mom to feel like it is a slam against them that someone would consider labeling their child with an attachment disorder.

My next post will be a rundown of some of the signs of "attachment disorder" and my comments as to which fit and do not fit Meechi.

The Verdict Is In

2010-08-12T06:29:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was the visit with the developmental pediatrician, and while it didn't go as I expected it to, I have to say that I am pleased with that.

Even before waking Meechi up to get him ready to go, I had this really strong feeling that it was going to be one of those days where he actually does well and doesn't display many of the common behaviors we see in him. I'm not sure what had given me that feeling, but it was right on. I actually said to my husband once that I was just sure that Meechi was going to be so good that there was no way the doctor would think there was anything wrong with. All I have wanted was for Meechi to get some help, and I was sure that if he acted "normal" around the doctor that he would be robbing himself of that help. Ok, sure, I know that is probably not the best attitude for me to take on this, but it's where my head was that morning. It changed though.

Meechi did indeed behave really well while we were at the dr's office. He had no trouble waiting patiently in the waiting room, he just sat and played happily with a few little toys I'd brought for him. When he was called back and it was time for him to be weighed and measured, something that EVERY time before caused him to scream and cry and fight... he walked right over to the ruler on the wall, turned around and backed right up to the wall, standing straight and still. No crying, no fighting, no claiming that it was "bad", just acted like a guy on a mission and got right to it. The lady measuring him even made the comment, "you knew just what I needed didn't you". Then he walked to the scale and hopped himself right on up there with no problems. Then it was time to take his blood pressure, something no one has ever been able to do before due to how hard he fights it! He was asked to sit in a chair near the machine that take the blood pressure and he looked at that machine and then looked at me with a worried look, then gave a worried look back at the machine. I asked him again to sit in the chair and told him it would be ok, and he climbed into the chair. The lady told him it was going to hug his arm and his fingers would probably feel tingly, and then with the worried look still on his face but no screaming, crying or fighting, he let her wrap the blood pressure cuff around his arm. The squeezing started and his eyes got wide. His daddy asked him if it tickled his fingers, and suddenly he just smiled and said, "ya, it tickles" and he was fine. At that point I wasn't sure who that kid was, but I was pretty sure it must have been some sort of pod person because that was SO not Meechi! The lady then took out a measuring tape to measure his head and that is when he freaked a little and ran behind me shouting, "no! no! i don't want that!" and she told him that he'd been so good through everything else that if he didn't want her to do it she wouldn't. So he escaped that, but only for awhile since the doctor needed the measurement and would end up doing it himself later in the visit.

We went into the room and waited for the doctor to come in. We didn't wait long which is something we're not used to since we normally wait for what seems like forever for a doctor to actually come into the room. Meechi had been checking out some toys on the counter while waiting and it was obvious he couldn't wait to get his hands on them. Since the office we went to is part of KU med school, the dr had an intern with him. He left the intern with us to ask us about medical history and what our concerns were while he went to get "more toys". We did our best to recount all the odd behaviors we've noticed as well as what we'd been told by teachers at Meechi's school. The medical history questions we answered the best we could, but we'll never have all the answers with the first 15 months of his life being a mystery, as well as the mystery of pregnancy and genetics.

So, the doctor came back in and the intern filled him in on what we'd said. Then the dr spread a mat out on the floor and told Meechi he could sit down there and play. He placed a few things on the mat, some paper and crayons, a cup, some little blocks and a puzzle. He handed Meechi the puzzle which was really simple, just a circle, triangle and square. Meechi can put together actual puzzles of around 50 pieces, so he whipped through that thing in .9 seconds. Ok, not really, but he did it quickly and easily but he did something that is not uncommon for him... he would put the pieces in the wrong spot and look at us, waiting for us to say "nooooooo" and then he'd smile and put it where he knew it belonged the whole time. The doctor made the comment, "he certainly looks to you for approval, doesn't he".

I went into this visit expecting it to be a bit like the developmental testing he has had in the past. A set routine of games, puzzles and various little skill tests that they would see if he could accomplish. Not at all what happened. Instead he just let Meechi play and talked to us and to Meechi as he let him go about the business of playing. Meechi didn't show much interest in the things the dr had brought into the room and instead kept going back to the counter where a toy barn was sitting. The toy he'd had his eye on since we'd come into the room. The dr told Meechi he could bring it down to the floor to play with it. The intern helped him get that down as well as a toy truck. Meechi sat and played with that thing the rest of the appointment. He was having the little toy girl talk to the animals and feed them. The animals would talk back to her and showed her around the barn. The girl would drive the truck to the farm and pick up the animals and then take them back. He played with those things in exactly the way they should be played with, showing great imagination as he did and speaking very clearly and in complete sentences. Basically, he was doing exactly what I had been worried he would do... showing "normal" behavior instead of the "craziness" we are used to seeing from him.

Eventually the dr needed to measure Meechi's head and listen to his inner workings with the stethoscope. It was at that point that a total, typically Meechi, meltdown ensued. Ah! there was the Meechi we all know and love. After that the dr and the intern left the room for awhile and we got Meechi calmed back down. I knew at that point that the doctor was going to come back into the room and declare Meechi to not be on the autism spectrum. Hell, I wouldn't have even considered the thought watching the kid that was in the room that day.

Indeed, the dr came back in and delivered the verdict:
not autism
not fetal alcohol syndrome
not any neurological disorder at all in his opinion
He went over things they could do, such as a brain scan and blood tests but said none of that was really conclusive since there is no real test to prove or disprove autism. He went on to say that if Meechi's head was out of proportion to his body, or if he showed any signs of being uncoordinated or if he'd had any history of seizures that he would definitely suggest testing, but since there was none of that he felt it was unnecessary.

As he is going over all of this, Meechi starts beating the hell out of the toy truck with a box of crayons and yelling at them both because the crayons fell out of the back of the truck. I am watching him do this and thinking "what the hell?". Because if there isn't something wrong with this kid WHY is he doing that? All this time I've been saying "my kid's not a brat, he has something wrong with his brain", but if that's not true... then is my kid just a brat???
I was trying to help Meechi fix the crayon situation and calm him down. Of course that wasn't happening and he wouldn't be calmed and it didn't matter that I had fixed the problem. He was still pissed off at those toys and beating the crap out of them and yelling at them, and he had started to cry over it all. Meanwhile the dr is still rambling on about how great Meechi is and how we're doing such a great job with him and to just keep doing what we've been doing.

I look at the doctor like he must be blind or something and then I point down at Meechi and I say, "what about this?!?"
His answer was, "it's not autism, fetal alcohol syndrome or any other neurological problem" and I'm thinking "ya, you said that already. but it is something dude! it is!" Then the dr said something that put my mind at ease about my concerns over autism, he said, "if it were a neurological problem, he couldn't just turn it on and off. He wouldn't be capable of doing as well as I saw him do here today. His eye contact is too good, he has too much focus and interaction with you. He wouldn't be able to do that with you and then just turn it off with his teachers and other children."
It made sense, and for the first time in a loooooong time I believed that Meechi is not on the autism spectrum. Sensory Processing Disorder, but not ASD. I breathed a sigh of relief for his future at that point.
But I still have my concerns for the present.
It was then that the doctor went on to say that there were indeed behavioral abnormalities. You know, like beating the f*ck out of a toy truck with a box of crayons while screaming for it to do what you told it to do. The doc's belief is that it all goes back to those first 16 months. 16 months in an orphanage, not getting the love and attention every child needs. He went into the technical stuff about how touch fires nerves in the brain and promotes proper development and how lack of stimulation in those early months and years can cause damage either neurologically or mentally. From there he told us that he is not at all an expert in this area and that while he is certain that there is trauma from Meechi's life in the orphanage, he is not able to help us decide exactly what those problems are or how to deal with them. So we were given a referral for a behavioral psychologist and Meechi has an appointment to see him at the end of September. Maybe then we will get the answers on what the problem is, but at least for now we know what it is not.

I want to take a moment here and really speak up for adoption. If you have ever considered the idea of adoption, I encourage you to really begin looking into it. It is time to stop thinking, and start acting! If you've never considered it, stop for a moment and ask yourself "why not?", take a few moments and consider it. My son was in an orphanage for 16 months and it was enough to damage his mind. Just 16 months! Imagine how bleak and miserable his future would be had he been in that place for 16 years! Love and attention. Just love and attention is all it would have taken to prevent this child from having the issues he does. It will be with love and attention that we help him to work through it all and to grow up to be an amazing person. All children deserve that. They all deserve to have love and attention!!!

I also want to say thank you to everyone who helped us be able to adopt Meechi and bring him into our family. You have all helped him to escape a place that was damaging him and bring him into a world full of love and attention. A world he will grow and thrive in. The biggest thank you goes to my sister and brother-in-law who helped us in a very big way when it looked as though we would have to walk away and not complete the adoption. Your love and kindness was nothing short of a miraculous blessing for us and for sweet Meechi. I love you guys!!!

busy week ahead

2010-08-09T11:03:00.001-07:00

Two more days until Meechi's appointment with the developmental pediatrician!

One more week until school starts for Shy and Bucky. Meechi has a pre-k entrance conference that day. They go over what to expect during the school year, what they'll be working on and all that. He's in the same class he was last year. Not sure there's really going to be much difference. I am hoping they present him with some new educational activities and not just have him doing the same exact things he did last year. My expectations for that aren't real high though.

The 18th is his first day of class. They do staggered attendance the first week, which is just a few kids each day rather than all the kids. I think each kid goes for two days. They aren't going to stagger Meechi though since he's already familiar with the classroom and teachers. He will be going the whole week. I am happy about that.

Lots going on in the next week!

Did you know Snoopy was Kazakh?

2010-08-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

We took a mini vacation to Kansas City. Just a couple of days, but it was a good time and it was nice to have a family vacation.

Shy actually spent Monday at an all day, outdoor concert. It was her 16th birthday present. Temps were over a hundred and we found out later a guy actually died of heat stroke at the concert. Sad. I had given Shy and her friend strict instructions to drink a TON of water while they were there and to not drink anything but water. (soda was not going to help in temps like that) Even so, Shy felt like she might pass out for awhile but smartly spent some time in the first aid tent where she was given some free water. (they event was selling it for $4 a bottle which i find a bit cruel and dangerous at an event like this)

While she and her friend were baking in the sun, the rest of us went to the Dinosaur Cafe and then went swimming at the hotel. Meechi LOVED the dinosaur cafe! It was really cool. At first I thought we were given really crappy seats, but after we walked around the place we decided they were actually pretty good. None of the rooms really had a great view of the dinos, they were placed mostly around entrances to each room and not really in any of them. Our seat in the "shark room" near the entrance actually provided us with a good view of several of the dinos, the mammoths and, of course, the fish. I was disappointed that the bone dig and panning for jewels was at an extra fee. It didn't say that anywhere on the website! and after telling Meechi he was going to get to do it, there was no way we could tell him he couldn't. It was actually pretty lame and I wouldn't spend the money to do that again. We all enjoyed the food though. I had some fantastic tortellini and Bucky said the bronto burger was great.

The next day we were all out in the over 100 degree weather as we spent the day at worlds of fun. It was the hottest day of the year! (115 with the heat index) but hey... at least the lines were short! We actually spent about four hours there, then went back to the hotel to cool down for awhile and went back that evening for another three hours. Meechi actually rode a lot more rides when we were there last year then he did this year. Many of the rides that were his favorites back in 09, he wanted nothing to do with this year. He was able to ride the log ride this year and he loved that one. He is still talking about, "go up big hill, go down big hill and splash!".

Oh! and Snoopy? The kids area at worlds of fun is called "camp snoopy" but Meechi insisted that wasn't the name. He has been calling it "Kazakh snoopy" and corrects the rest of us if we don't say it that way. So I guess, at least according to Meechi, that the funny, little beagle is Kazakh. I bet Charlie Brown never knew that. ;)

*5 more days until Meechi's eval with the developmental pediatrician!

stop the violence!!!

2010-07-25T19:00:00.000-07:00

Meechi is currently hitting himself in the head with a book. Now slamming the book into the floor over and over and yelling, "I told you not to fall" at it.

so, why am i sitting here posting on the blog instead of doing something? because i have NO FREAKING CLUE WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!!!

i am at a total loss on this particular behavior and it is one that is occurring more and more often. if he drops a toy, if it falls off a table, if he steps on it and it hurts his foot, if it doesn't do what he wants it to do, or does anything he doesn't want it to..... he freaks out. He will either hit himself with it, or he will beat it on the floor or table and yell at it. Or, like now, he will do both.
(he is done now, and happily playing with his books like nothing happened)

I have tried to calm him, talking with him, redirecting him, removing the offending toy, and a few other things. None of it works. He won't be calmed in these situations. They don't last long, but they are so disturbing no matter how short and they are, as I said, happening more and more often.

so this is why i am posting right now...
I need advice on how to deal with this behavior. I don't know what to do for him, how to help learn to deal with things in a less violent way. Help!

btw... his appointment with the developmental pediatrician is two and a half weeks away now. I hope this time flies by!!! School starts just five days after his appointment. His IEP is due in October, but I am hoping to get something in place (therapy) with the school before that if he gets diagnosed on the autism spectrum. I'm not sure how possible that is though.

so i decided to go ahead and throw him in the lake

2010-07-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

well, actually I decided to just take him camping at the lake. ;)

An amazing thing happened there too. Meechi played barefoot in the sand!!!
Now that might not sound like such a big deal to most people. I mean, afterall, most of us love the feeling of digging our toes in the sand. Just the thought of it will conjure up memories of days spent at the beach. Fun in the water, sandcastles, just lazing in the sun and enjoying the feeling getting sand in our toes. But for those of you who have a child like mine, a child with SPD, you will understand the enormity of that simple statement:
Meechi played barefoot in the sand!

For the rest of you, try to imagine...
we can all relate to the heat of the sand burning the soles of our feet, but once we find the shade we relax and enjoy the cool sand. For a child with SPD the heat is only one small issue. There is the issue of feeling out of control of your own body as your feet sink into the sand, throwing your whole body off balance. A body that already tends to feel off balance most of the time anyway. You feel each little grain of sand digging into your skin, more like a pile of large rocks than like the ultra fine pebbles they are. Sand pushing up between your toes is truly torturous to an ultra sensitive part of your body. And it sticks to you, and try as you might, you just can't get your skin free of it all.

Sand has been a nemesis of ours for years. Finally, it became what it should be for a child...
something fun to play in and with.
(sadly, i have no pictures of him playing in the sand since i didn't take the camera to the swimming beach out of fear of it getting ruined)

Meechi actually did very well with his first camping trip. He loved swimming in the lake and building sand castles. He loved eating junk food. He loved playing in the tent. He loved spending so much time outdoors and playing. He loved spending time with the whole family. He loved watching as we built a fire. He loved roasting hotdogs and toasting marshmallows. He wasn't thrilled about going to sleep in the tent, but was so worn out that he went down quickly.

It was a good trip and would have been perfect if I'd only remembered to pack the sunblock. Luckily for Meechi, that dark Kazakh skin is not prone to burning. The rest of us did not get off so lucky!

Just throw him in the lake

2010-07-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

Recently we attended a social gathering (otherwise known as a party). Should have been a good time, but as any parent of a child with Sensory Processing Disorder knows, social gatherings are a good setup for disaster. Lots of people, lots of noise, lots of movement, sights, tactile sensations.... well, you get the picture. Sensory overload. The fact is, there were actually enough different noises coming from different directions that it was driving me crazy and I don't have SPD. So poor Meechi, who had already been having a trying day, was beyond overload at that point.

Those closest to us, close family and friends, know about his difficulties. People who know us casually have likely heard that he has some issues, but they don't really get it and certainly don't have a true understanding of what life is like for him. As a result, when they witness him having a meltdown from sensory overload all they see is a bratty child pitching a fit. It is the way most of the world views these kids. Sad, but true. Now, I know that this is just a result of ignorance of the facts. I know that these people lack the understanding that comes with knowledge of those facts. I know that is more innocent misunderstanding than malicious contempt. I know all this. And yet when I hear these people make certain comments it gets under my skin.

This particular day, at this particular function, one such comment was made. Probably the worst comment I've heard to date, said to my child. As my son reacted in the only way he knows how (screaming and crying) to an extremely overstimulating situation, a casual acquaintance sitting next to me decided to offer their two cents. Looking over at my son they told him, "if you keep that up someone is going to take you outside and throw you in the lake".
WTF?!?!?!!?
Yes, someone actually told my son that his behavior (that was way beyond his control and not at all his fault) was going to not only get him punished, but get him punished with drowning!

As much as I would have loved to set this person straight, or better yet throw them in the lake, I bit my tongue and looked to those close to me with shock and a look that probably said, "help me before I kill this jackass". Thankfully, a very thoughtful person removed my son from the presence of said jackass, as well as the noisy situation. I was given the chance to just chill out and calm down. I am SO thankful for the good people in my life who understand my son and all he has to deal with, as well as all I deal with in concern to him.
(i am being a bit vague on the who all the people involved are to try and keep from stepping on toes and hurting anyone's feelings. i have the sense and decency to regard people's feelings like that, unlike the jackass.)

Here is a link to strategies for helping children with SPD deal with situations like holidays and parties where overstimulation is likely to occur. Unfortunately I don't have a link on how to deal with jerks. ;)

book review: Shades of Morning by Marlo Schalesky

2010-07-15T16:33:00.000-07:00

Shades of Morning by Marlo Schalesky

Summary:
Marnie Wittier has life just where she wants it. Quiet. Peaceful. No drama. A long way away from her past. In the privacy of her home, she fills a box with slips of paper, scribbled with her regrets, sins, and sorrows. But that’s nobody else’s business. Her bookstore/coffee shop patrons, her employees, her friends from church—they all think she’s the very model of compassion and kindness.

Then Marnie’s past creeps into her present when her estranged sister dies and makes Marnie guardian of her fifteen-year-old son—a boy Marnie never knew existed. And when Emmit arrives, she discovers he has Down syndrome—and that she’s woefully unprepared to care for him. What’s worse, she has to deal with Taylor Cole, her sister’s attorney, a man Marnie once loved—and abandoned. As Emmit (and Taylor) work their way into her heart, Marnie begins to heal. But when pieces of her dismal past surface again, she must at last face the scripts of paper in her box, all the regrets and sorrows. Can she do it? Or will she run again?

My Review:

I enjoyed reading this book right up until the end. It started off well and became a real page turner as I couldn't wait to find out if my guesses as to the secrets of Marnie's past were correct. Most were actually, but there were still some surprises that I was unable to predict. The biggest surprise though, came at the end when the story took the most bizzarre twist I've read in quite some time. I loved the book up until that point, but was then left wondering why the author chose to end the story this way. For me, it took some of the heart and soul out of the books plot.

Overall this book is a good read, but be prepared for a far fetched twist at the end.

I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

T-ball is a contact sport???

2010-07-09T13:03:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in a previous post that I had signed Meechi up for a "mainstream" t-ball league since he enjoyed Miracle League so much and did so well with it. When I signed him up for this park league, I said that if it didn't seem like he was doing well that I would pull him out. Well, I am pulling him out but not really because he wasn't doing well with it.

There are two boys on the team (two rather large for their age boys, i might add) that really should not be involved in team sports. I am thinking karate would be much more their style! These boys always want to be the one to get the ball when it is hit into the field. They are determined to get their hands on the ball no matter what it takes. That means running over the other kids, pushing them out of the way or pushing them completely down, stepping on fingers, and actually violently yanking the ball out of the hands of other children. This past Wednesday, Meechi was one of the kids that was pushed down and then stepped on. The result was a scraped, bleeding knee and a crying child who wanted nothing more to do with playing ball that night. It also resulted in a mom who wants nothing more to do with this park league!

Meechi's daddy signed up to be a coach and we thought this would be a good thing. We thought he would have some control of how things work and how the kids behave on the field. We thought wrong! He was the "assistant" coach and the "head" coach for the team has a pretty crappy attitude when it comes to sports. This guy's comments on the two monster children? "oh! I was that kid when I was younger. There is nothing wrong with it." WTF?!?!?!?!? He actually praises one of the kids and calls him "tornado" cause he is out there tearing up the field. I say "tornado" fits pretty well, but only because this child is destructive and nobody wants him anywhere near them! Oh, and the other monster child? It's the coach's kid. ya, shocker, i know.

So, after only three weeks into the season of park league, Meechi's t-ball experience with them is over. And the jerk coach will be left to coach that team on his own!

I really think this team is going to eventually drop off to just three kids, the "tornado" and the coach's two kids. A team that started with 12 kids was down to 9 kids the 2nd week and only 7 kids this past week. With Meechi leaving, that gives them just 6.... unless more parents call it quits this week. And let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if that happened.

I will touch a hundred flowers and not pick one

2010-07-06T14:11:00.001-07:00

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I love flowers but hate to receive them as a gift. To me, giving flowers to someone is giving them a gift that is nothing more than a decaying remnant of something that was once full of beautiful life. It also seems a terrible waste of money to buy something that will be totally withered within days and destined for the trash bin.

I have recently discovered the poet Edna St Vincent Millay , whose work I truly enjoy. This poem especially spoke to me. That one line about the flowers seems to capture my feelings so well.

I will be the gladdest thing
Under the sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers And not pick one.

I will look at cliffs and clouds
With quiet eyes,
Watch the wind bow down the grass,
And the grass rise.

And when lights begin to show
Up from the town,
I will mark which must be mine,
And then start down!

Edna St Vincent Millay

Volcano!!!

2010-07-01T17:32:00.000-07:00

I've been looking for something to do with the kids this summer. You can only swim or go to the zoo so much before it gets a little old. I found this idea to make a volcano, so we gave it a try. Kinda cool, even if it didn't take real long.

If you wanna give it a try, it is pretty easy to do. Just bury a soda or water bottle (16 or 20oz), scoop 2Tbsp of baking soda into it, add red food coloring to 1 cup of vinegar (the food coloring is optional, but we thought it made the "lava" look better), quickly poor the vinegar into the bottle and watch your volcano erupt.

Meechi liked playing dinosaurs around our volcano and saving them from the lava. And yes, even the older kids had fun with this.

toy story 3, freecycle, and why some people suck

2010-06-29T14:09:00.001-07:00

Freecycle is awesome, but people suck!
If you aren't a member of the freecycle yahoo group for your area, you should be. It is a great way to clean out your garage or closets by giving things away to others. It is also a great way to get something you need (or something you don't need, but you want it anyway) from someone else. My best find to date was a free power wheel four wheeler and radio flyer tricycle. Awesome! I thought I had another great deal today. Bunk beds! I have been wanting bunk beds for Meechi and Bucky for quite some time now. They have a small room and bunk beds would be great. I just happened to catch a posting of someone giving away bunk beds with the matresses right after it was posted. (these things go fast) The lady responded saying I could have them. I made arrangements for help picking them up and called the lady back... she'd given them away to someone else! Seriously?!? People suck! Why on earth would she say I could have them and then give them to someone else?

In other random news...
We took Meechi to see Toy Story 3. I really liked the movie. Probably my fave of them all. The story line is a bit advanced for small children though. While Meechi enjoyed the movie, I don't think he really had much of a grasp on what was really going on. Also, I have to complain about the whole 3D thing. To me a movie should be made in 3D becasue it adds to some amazing special effects, not just to make the characters look... well, 3D. If there is no action, if there are no special effects, if there is nothing "flying" toward you throughout the movie, there is no need for 3D. Toy Story 3 has neither action nor special effects and therefor no need for 3D. I felt robbed of my money. I could have saved money by going to see this thing in 2D since they jack up the ticket prices for 3D movies. So, if you haven't seen it yet, do yourself a favor and save some cash by just watching it in 2D.

blessings

2010-06-15T18:31:00.000-07:00

I was very thankful to finally find a church that everyone in my family loves. A place where we feel comfortable, enjoy the services, and can get involved. I didn't realize what a true blessing this church would become for me though. In the past week I learned that they are putting together a group for parents of kids with special needs. Many of the kids are on the Autism spectrum. Finally, I will get to meet and talk to people who are going through or have gone through the same things we are. While the people I have "met" online have been helpful and encouraging, it is not the same as actually having real people right there in a room with you who understand. In the past month I have been lucky enough to experience several blessings and little miracles. I simply stand in awe of it all.

It's not all about the boy

2010-06-14T14:36:00.001-07:00

I am not very good at keeping up two blogs. To be honest, I'm not very good at keeping up with this one. While I wanted to keep my own personal journal and this journal of Meechi's life separate, it is just too much effort. The fact is that I never bother to journal anything personal over on my other blog anymore. Recently, it has become just a place to post book reviews. That is not what I wanted for that site, and yet that is where it has gone. So, I am going to stop posting over there.

I am a bit sad about that, but really that is only because I love the way that blog looks. I completely designed it myself, and while it is far from perfect I am still proud of the job I did with the design. Especially since I really know nothing at all about blog design, html or any of the other technical stuff. Of course my favorite part is the header, which I not only designed, but actually drew the design myself.

See?!? Isn't that cute?

The point of all this is, that from time to time you will be seeing (and hopefully actually reading) blog posts that I would normally have posted on Trial By Jury over here at Life With Meechi. So if you occasionally see a post that has nothing to do with my adorable Kazakh son, now you'll know why. Posts may be random thoughts that have been milling around in my mind, journals of my own life (or lack there of), attempts at writing fiction, and the occasional book review. Whenever I post about something other than Meechi I will add that cute little Trial By Jury logo that you just saw, at the top of the post. If you really only want to read about the Meech, then feel free to ignore posts with that logo, but I do hope you'll give them a read.

We stay home?

2010-06-13T15:34:00.000-07:00

I am a home-body who tends to get cabin fever. Seems a contradiction doesn't it? It is true though. For the most part, I would prefer to just stay in the comfort of my own home and not deal with driving, traffic, crowds, long waits in line or any of those other annoying things that come with going out in public. However, after a few days of staying home and avoiding the outside world I get really restless and feel the need to bust out and go somewhere. Anywhere! So, while I always tend to think I want to stay home, the truth is that I actually have fun when I get out.

What does any of that have to do with Meechi? I'll tell you. Meechi seems to have this same trait, only to the extreme. The traffic probably doesn't affect him and he actually asks to drive everytime we get in the car, so he obviously doesn't have the exact same qualms about leaving the house that I do. He does always ask to just stay home though. Seriously! Almost everytime we are going to go somewhere he will ask, "we stay home?" and then cries or even pitches a major fit when we tell him "no. we are going." He has actually gotten to the point where he is so concerned with the idea of leaving that he will ask, "we stay home?" as soon as he wakes up in the morning.

A typical morning in our house goes a bit like this.
Meechi wakes up and proceeds to poke and prod at me until I wake up.
me: "good morning. did you have a good sleep?"
meechi: "we stay home?"
me: "I love you. Can I have a good morning hug and kiss?"
meechi: "we stay home?"
me: "what do you want for breakfast? do you want cereal? do you want me to make you some pancakes?" (are you sensing my attempts to distract him?)
meechi: "we stay home?"
me: "do you need to go potty?"
meechi: "we stay home?"

On days that we are indeed staying home and I can answer with a "yes" we are all good. On days that we do need to go somewhere and I have to tell him "no, we can't stay home. we need to go to ____" immediate meltdown occurs.

The worst part of this is that it doesn't matter where we are going (unless it is to t-ball), he will meltdown. Even when it is somewhere that I KNOW he actually enjoys going and has fun while he is there.

Just this morning he was in full on meltdown mode because I told him we were going to church. Once he gets there he has fun playing with the toys, playing games and singing songs. When it is time to leave church he always tells me "I had some fun at church". So, yes, he does indeed have fun there. Still, every Sunday morning we go through the crying and the asking to stay home. Today he even went so far as to tell me, "I stay home by myself. I be ok." Ya, right little man! Nice try.

We actually had to deal with this for the last two months of school. Everyday he would cry and say he didn't want to go to school, that he wanted to just stay home. We'd drag him off crying and whining and deposit him in the classroom. Three hours later we'd pick him up and he'd tell us how much fun he had. Then the next morning we'd go through it all over again.

I'm not sure if this is just a stage or just one more "quirk" to add to the list. I have to admit that this is one that drives me absolutely insane most days. Even if I do tend to just want to stay home myself.

gonna be a busy summer

2010-06-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

Meechi's first week of summer vacation was slow paced and easy going. We did a lot of just hanging out in the backyard. I have to take advantage of the mild temperature before true summer hits and the 100 degree weather keeps me from wanting to step foot outdoors! We got him a little inflatable pool (that looked MUCH bigger in the photo on the box than it actually is) and we set that up. He has had fun splashing about in there but will not sit down in it. We've played in the sprinkler a bit and even used the spray from it as a "net" for some beach volleyball using Meechi's new beachball. He has a little tent set that has a teepee style tent, a dome tent and a tunnel to connect them, and we set that up as well. It was a fun first week, even though it was a low key, lazy one. :) We'll probably keep the same sort of pace this week, but then next week our summer will get much busier.

Miracle League t-ball ends this coming weekend. June 5th will be the last day. It was a really short season. Too short in our opinion. Meechi really loves t-ball! He gets very excited when we tell him it is time to get ready to go play. That is a rare thing for him, as he hates going anywhere. Usually when we tell him we are going somewhere he starts whining and says, "no, we stay home". It is nice to have him actually excited to go somewhere and do something. Since he loves t-ball so much we decided to try and find another league for him to play in and give it a try. So we signed him up for the park league. It is mainstream and not special needs, but we are thinking he will do well with it anyway. When I signed him up for Miracle League, I thought it would be like any other thing he does and that his attention would not be there and that he would be all over the place or having meltdowns. That didn't happen, so we're hopeful that his love for the game will keep him focused and meltdown free in the park league as well. I figure it is worth trying. The more mainstream activities he can participate in and actually handle well, the better. He is going to be living in the "real" world and it is not always going to be accommodating to his needs, so I figure he has to learn to cope with it. Anyway, his last ML game is the 5th and then the other league starts on the 9th. His daddy volunteered to coach, so hopefully that will help. He won't have an "Angel in the outfield" to be with him every step of the way in this league like he did in ML. That will be the biggest difference and hopefully doesn't cause any problems.

We have a slight scheduling conflict on Wednesday nights now. It is Meechi's new t-ball night, but it is also the night Bucky goes to church youth group. Youth group is on the extreme West side of town, and t-ball is on the East side. (we would NOT have chosen to play on the East side, but there are NO parks on the West side that offer t-ball!!!!) Not sure how much t-ball I will get to see due to the scheduling conflict since my husband is coaching, I will always be the one getting Bucky back and forth.

We also signed Meechi up for basketball. I don't know how much he'll like this one, but it was only $10 and lasts just 5 weeks, so I thought we'd give it a try. I want to keep him in situations where he can socialize with kids his own age. Social skills is one of his biggest struggles (this is one of the areas where we really see the Asperger's behaviors) and I don't want him to lose what little ground he has gained in this area at preschool over the summer. So, we will have basketball on Tuesdays, t-ball on Wednesdays and then on Thursdays Bucky is taking tennis lessons. We are in for some busy weeks this summer.

Of course then you have to factor in the normal summer stuff like trips to the pool or to the zoo on wet n wild days. And we can't forget summer BBQ's or making s'mores in the backyard while we hang out under the stars and catch lightning bugs. I also plan for everyone to read a lot this summer, and that includes me seriously working on teaching Meechi to read. Then there are the pre-k workbooks I bought for him to do over the summer so he doesn't lose anything that he learned this past year. The kids won't let me forget to give them time to play Wii either. Ya, it is safe to say we'll keep busy around here this summer.

We are missing out on Kazapalooza this summer, which is sad. I was hoping to be able to go this year but it just wasn't possible. Next year it is in Florida which is a much more realistic option for us anyway since we usually head down there to visit my parents in the summer anyway. So, our fingers are crossed that we'll make it next year. There is going to be a get together of families who adopted specifically from Ust-Kamenogorsk this year in Ohio sometime in August. I am still hopeful we'll be able to make that, but not for sure yet.

I'll post some summertime photos soon. So far I've just been relaxing and enjoying the moment and haven't bothered with the camera.

2010 field day

2010-05-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

scooter races in the hallway
he told me "i can hula hoop on the Wii" as he tried over and over to do it for real. he learned that the Wii is not like the real thing at all.

this balance board maze was really cool. he did let go after awhile and try it on his own.

that orange blur at the top of the photo is a turtle bean bag. this game was cool! place a bean bag on one end of the board and then stomp on the other end to get it to fly, then try to catch the beanbag. He caught it several times actually.

Yesterday was field day at Meechi's school. Normally that means going outside to do physical activities in the form of carnival style games. This year since it has rained and rained and rained for the past couple of weeks the school cancelled field day. Luckily, since Meechi is in Pre-K the teachers were able to find ways to create activities the kids could do in the classroom (and hallway) so they could still experience field day. Last year Meechi did ok with field day, but this year he really did great and enjoyed it all. It was nice to be able to go take part in the day.

Today is his last day of school for the year. I need to get with it and get some activities figured out for the summer to keep him occupied. All day at home with nothing planned is NOT a good thing for Meechi. Lots of meltdowns will ensue if I don't get some sort of schedule made. I really should have had that done by now, but I am a procrastinator by nature. ;)

moving?

2010-05-16T20:51:00.001-07:00

I'm sure I have left many people hanging in wonder about what happened with the whole custody situation. I know I have gotten a few questions about whether or not we are ever moving to La or staying here in the flattest, windiest, stormiest part of the whole darn country.

The short answer is
No, we are not moving.

The shortest explanation is that it is the fault of two unethical lawyers and one incompetent lawyer. There is more to it than that though when I really search my heart about it all. Yes, the extremely incompetent lawyer played the hugest part in how it would all turn out. Am I bitter over that? Yes, of course. How could I not be? And yet, I am trying very hard not to be bitter and to not let it eat away at me. That is a HUGE struggle right now.

The fact is that I could have continued to drag all this on and on and on. We never did make it to court. Six months, and never made it to court! As time drug on and things just kept getting pushed back, and other issues to fight over were brought up, I felt the stress of it all. It was wearing on me emotionally, spiritually and physically. Then one day I was sitting in a waiting room somewhere and I saw a sign on the wall that had this quote on it...
"When two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers."
I sat there staring at those words and the image of my ex and I as two big elephants fighting, butting heads, spearing each other with strong tusks came to me. It was quickly accompanied by the vision of my children as delicate blades of grass being trampled and beaten down. It hit me then that if six months of fighting had worn me down so much, what was it doing to them?

While I firmly believed (and still believe) that the move to La would have provided my kids with a better life, I was suddenly thinking maybe the fight that it was taking to try and make that happen wasn't worth it. That move could have provided them a more stable home, better educations, and greater opportunities. However, I had to realize, the fighting could cause them emotional and mental anguish that they might carry with them for life. It came down to a matter of deciding if it was worth it to keep dragging it all out and continuing to fight. I had to make the tough decision to back off even though I knew how much the kids would benefit from the move.

I won't get into everything that happened with the lawyers, but honestly it is the part I am struggling with the most. The incompetence of the lawyer I hired amazes me. I would love to see her case record, because I find it hard to believe that she has ever won a case. She let herself, and in the process me as well, be bullied, threatened and cheated by the other lawyer. She let major decisions be decided by them without even putting up a fight or even an objection. (one of those decisions, which involved the other unethical lawyer, played a huge part in things) I knew the very first day we stepped into a court room (this was just a preliminary thing) and the judge asked her why she wanted something to be done a certain way, and her answer was "uhhhhhh.................................", that I was in trouble. Seriously, she never did come up with an answer and was of course denied what we were trying to get done. Sadly, as hard as it is to believe, she just got worse from there. If not for her utter incompetence, things never would have been drug out as long as they were. The fighting never would have gone on for so long and I wouldn't have had to back down and give up on what I know would have been a positive change for my children.

It was at the end of March that I made that decision to back down. It didn't end there though. This is the part that nobody knows. I have continued to have small battles over things in this case. My ex wasn't happy with leaving things as they were before. You see, child support went up. It had never been raised since our divorce nearly 10 years ago. Going back to court automatically caused child support to be recalculated and it increased. That, of course, did not sit well with him and his wife. So with the aid of their lawyer and her bullying tactics, they had the incompetent twit I hired convinced that everything was shared custody. By calling it that they could make the increase about a hundred dollars less each month. No matter how much I told the twit that it was in no uncertain terms NOT shared custody, she was convinced (through her own stupidity as well as the bullying of the other lawyer) that it was. She was certain that a judge would say it was indeed shared custody, despite the fact that the judge ten years ago certainly didn't think so, and that I should once again just back down. If not we would still end up in court. She assured me that nothing would change except it would now be called "shared custody" instead of it stating I had "primary residency" and that the increase in child support would be $200/month rather than $300/month. I didn't care about the money, and as she assured me over and over (because i asked multiple times) that nothing else would change I once again backed down.

It didn't end there. All those assurances that nothing would change were total bullsh*t. What my ex and his lawyer had in mind was to make sure that "shared" meant that we have equal time with the kids. Half. Right down the middle. That meant taking time away from me and giving it to him. Something that, had I known (and I DID ask several times), I never would have backed down. I would have gone to court and fought. Now, just as I had thought things were going to just go back to the way they were, I was facing losing two days a week with my kids. (daytime hours only due to the fact they already spent those evenings with their father) I was once again put in the position of continuing the fighting or backing off. I had to decide whether or not to spend more time and more money, and to put everyone through more emotional turmoil and stress, by going ahead and pushing to go to court or to take this knife to the gut and walk away. I agonized! I wanted to fight, I really did. I imagined myself going to court with this horribly incompetent lawyer who had lied, LIED, to me. I wouldn't win. I knew that. Not with her, there was no way. So it came down to either backing off, or finding a new lawyer, paying a huge fee and starting all over again.

Elephants and grass.
I don't want to be an elephant.
Instead I will be the better person.
But I don't have to like it!

Book Review: Indivisible by Kristen Heitzmann

2010-05-13T13:18:00.000-07:00

About This Book:
Battling his own personal demons, Police Chief Jonah Westfall knows the dark side of life and has committed himself to eradicating it. When a pair of raccoons are found mutilated in Redford, Colorado, Jonah investigates the gruesome act, knowing the strange event could escalate and destroy the tranquility of his small mountain town. With a rising drug threat and never-ending conflict with Tia Manning, a formidable childhood friend with whom he has more than a passing history, Jonah fights for answers—and his fragile sobriety.

But he can’t penetrate every wound or secret—especially one fueled by a love and guilt teetering on madness.

From best-selling author Kristen Heitzmann comes a spellbinding tale of severed connections and the consequences of life lived alone.

I'll admit that when I read the line, "When a pair of raccoons are found mutilated in Redford, Colorado, Jonah investigates the gruesome act" that I was skeptical about the plot of this book. I mean, really? mutilated raccoons? what is exciting or interesting about that? Good thing I decided to read the book anyway, because I was way off base. Those raccoons were far more interesting than I thought, and what they led to was incredibly shocking and intriguing. Of course there is so much more going on in Indivisible than just this one case. The story behind Jonah and Tia is what really drew me into this novel and kept me from putting it down.

Indivisible was a very emotional and thought provoking story. That was totally unexpected by me. I very highly recommend Indivisible for anyone who likes a bit of mystery, romance and believes in second chances.

click here for an audio interview with author Kristen Heitzmann about this book.

this and that

2010-05-11T15:22:00.000-07:00

I filled out all the paperwork for the developmental pediatrician and got them sent in. I sort of struggled with filling it all out. Certain sections just made me have to stop and think about what I really wanted or needed to say. "Describe the behaviours that have caused you to have concerns" was one of those sections. Do I list everything? Is there enough space to list everything? What do I include? What do I leave out? Do I just make a list, or give detailed descriptions and examples? All those questions and more were running through my mind. Eventually I managed to get it filled out, but I am still not sure I said all I should have. There was also a section that asked me to "describe difficulties and behaviours at school". That one stumped me. I really didn't know how to answer to that. He doesn't get in trouble or cause problems at school. I never get any "bad" reports or get talked to about "concerns". Still, I know that he is "off the norm" in school. I decided that it made the most sense to mention things like he doesn't play with the other kids, he will not ask the teachers for help, and he will not allow the teachers to comfort him if he is upset. Then there were the sections I could only answer with the words "Unknown-Adopted". It is one of those moments I really wish we had detailed info on Meechi's bio family. It would be nice for us to know if any of this is in his genes, and it would be very helpful for the doctor. Anyway, the paperwork has all been mailed back to them and now I am just waiting to hear back about scheduling an appointment.

The past couple of weeks Meechi has been doing a weird thing with his eyes. He squints and then lifts his head up, looking at us with this weird squinty eyed dirty look on his face. The first couple of times I saw it I wondered if he was squinting because he was having trouble seeing. Then I wondered if he was just giving me the "skunk eye" for some reason. His daddy was convinced he was just making faces, and it does seem like a Meechi thing to do. A few days later his teachers mentioned it. They asked if we'd had his eyes checked, so that got me thinking again that he might be having trouble seeing. I made him an appointment but couldn't get one for a week. Since the kids eye doctor is a total hotty, the idea of taking Meechi to see him was just fine with me anyway. ;) In the meantime Meechi kept giving us the "skunk eye" look every now and then. A few days ago I noticed he was mostly doing it when he was on the verge of tears. It seemed like he was doing this as a way to keep the tears from actually falling out of his eyes. He HATES to cry! When he does cry, he will usually yell "I not crying. I not crying". So, it made sense that he would be fighting against letting the tears fall. (no idea why he hates crying so much) Today was his appointment with the eye doc. He behaved surprisingly well for the exam since he normally hates/fights all doctors. We found out that he has astigmatism, but the doctor isn't concerned about doing anything about that right now. He said we'd just monitor it each year and see how it goes. His vision is fine, and there is no need for glasses. So it turns out that the squinty head tilt really is just him giving us the "skunk eye".

Meechi is still loving Tball. A grandma of one of the other kids told him this past week that she was his biggest fan. She said she was gonna take his fanclub worldwide. I'm sure he had no clue what the heck she was talking about, but his daddy and I thought it was pretty cute. Meechi tends to run all over the field trying to get the ball. He has no concept of playing position and will run from one side of the field to the other trying to get at that ball. It's funny and cute, but I was worried that he might be ticking everyone off. I didn't want people thinking he was a ball hog (even if he is). Some of the Angels In The Outfield (the people who volunteer to help the kids during the game) were talking to my husband later and saying how cute Meechi was. He mentioned something about him being a ball hog to them and they all said it was fine. They felt that since he was one of the few kids on his team actually able to run that he should do it and have fun. They even said that the other kids and the parents enjoy seeing him run around out there. Besides, he does always throw it to one of the other kids once he gets it and for most of them that is the only way they will get the ball. So, I guess I might have been worrying about that for nothing.

We took Meechi to see Walking with Dinosaurs. He loved it!

We got discount tickets through our church. Good thing, since tickets for the show were crazy expensive otherwise. We just recently started attending this church. Meechi really loves going and spending time with the children's church group during the service. I went to pick him up the other day and he wouldn't leave until he got his turn being "it" in the game of duck, duck, goose they were playing. Too cute! They did ask me once if he was just quiet or if he couldn't talk. Guess he is as quiet there as he is at school, which is not surprising.

Oh! As of May 9th, Meechi has been home with us for three years now. It seems longer and yet it also seems like it couldn't possibly have been that long ago we went to Kazakhstan to get him. I'll probably post more about this later.

Witnessing the miracle

2010-05-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

Meechi is a very active kid. By that I mean that he doesn't ever sit still. The little guy is constantly in motion. It tends to wear me down, but never wears him down. I knew that I wanted to get him involved in some sort of sport as a way to channel some of that energy. Tball seemed like it would be a great way to go. He could hit things (the ball), which he loves, he could throw things (the ball again) which he loves, and he could run which he seems to always be doing anyway. Sounded perfect. The only thing that didn't sound perfect was the idea of him trying something that requires organization, listening skills, concentration and attention. I just wasn't sure that your typical baseball league would be right for him. I checked into some options and came across the Miracle League.

I decided this would be a good option for him. He could have the chance to give Tball a try without having too much expectation placed on him. No one would care if he had a meltdown and refused to try something, because he would be surrounded by other kids who were likely to do the same thing. There was only one practice and just five games. The perfect way to give him exposure to the game without having it drag on too long if it didn't work out. The practice day was April 24. Never having been involved in anything like this, I didn't know what to expect.

I spent an hour and a half in absolute awe. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. The smile of a little boy in a wheelchair as his dad sped him around the bases will be forever imprinted in my mind. His joy was contagious and you couldn't help but feel his wonder and excitement. That little boy has a smile that could change the world! A little boy with a walker who could barely see and hardly hear, racing along from third base to home giggling the whole way as his daddy crouched down a few feet in front of him encouraging him the whole way was a wonder to witness. Children with vision impairments, children with braces on their legs, children in wheelchairs, children with Down syndrome, and children with autism all playing and laughing and having so much fun that I simply could not watch without a tear in my eye and a huge smile on my face.

The miracle of Miracle League is not in the children being able to play, the miracle is in getting to witness them play.

After having spent years watching my older son play baseball and hearing the kind of negativity that can come from some parents, it is a true joy to be in a place where everyone is positive. Everyone claps for every child, not just their own. Within minutes of being there people had made a point to learn each child's name so they could shout out cheers of encouragement for them all. Every attempted swing, catch and throw were applauded and shouts of "good try" were heard around the field.

A little girl on Meechi's team who has Asperger's was all over the place, choosing to either take part or not. She would go from trying to catch and throw to just wanting to pick up missed balls and take them back to the coach. No one tried to force her to play. No one tried to make her fall into an expected routine. She was encouraged to try, but if she would rather wander off and check out what another team was doing, it was okay. It was just as it should be and it was so wonderful to see and be a part of.

I don't think I needed to worry too much about Meechi though. Tball seems to be his thing. He loved it all. He knocked the ball as far as the bigger kids when he was at bat. He caught the ball if it was thrown perfectly to him. Not so much if it was a bit off, but that is okay. He threw the ball like a champ. We heard over and over again, "he has a great arm for a little guy", and he does. His little legs carried him as fast as they could around the bases and he laughed and smiled the whole time, stopping at each base to jump onto it rather than run them the "right" way and that was okay too. He played and laughed and had fun, and I was right there to witness it all with a tear in my eye and a huge smile on my face.

still dragging along

2010-05-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

So, the paperwork I expected over a week ago... I just got it Friday. Not sure why it took them a week to get it to me, but whatever, at least I have it now. I thought I would get it all filled out over the weekend but we were just too busy around here. The weather was gorgeous yesterday and the five of us spent a great deal of time in the backyard just soaking up the sun. There was a point that we were all simply laying in the grass relaxing. Wonderful!

Anyway, I hope to get the paperwork finished up today and mailed out tomorrow. Not sure how long after that it will take for them to get back to me to set up an appointment. A great deal of the paperwork is release forms for doctors, schools and anyone who has done developmental evals on Meechi. If they wait to get all that info back before they make an appointment, it could be awhile. I wored 4 years in medical records, so I know how long it can/does take. Legally they all have 30 days to release the records, but I am hoping they get it done quicker! Feels like I have been trying to get Meechi evaluated for autism forever now. It's really been just over a year, but it feels so much longer. I can't help but think of services he could be receiving that he is not, all because we don't have a diagnosis.

I have many things I want to post about but never really find time to blog much anymore. I need to get them posted before school gets out at the end of the month because then I won't have three Meechi free hours every morning anymore! I am looking for activities to keep him busy this summer so he won't be bored. Boredom is not a good thing with him. Also, I want things to help him get his endless supply of energy out!

I will post about Tball soon. Meechi had his first game this weekend.

that head don't go there

2010-04-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

I'm watching Toy Story with Meechi. What started off as a nice way to get a little peace and quiet turned into the cause of a serious freakout. You know the part of the movie when the mean kid, Sid, performs "surgery" on his sister's doll? When he takes off her head and attaches it to a toy dinosaur and then attaches the dinosaur head onto the doll? Well, that scene just sent my son into a major fit. He could not get over it. His "OCD" tendencies went into serious overdrive. He went on and on about how the heads were on the wrong bodies and that was wrong. He was very upset and just couldn't let it go, ranting over and over about how they were not supposed to be like that. Thankfully there is the scene in the movie in which the other freak toys have repaired these two tortured dolls and put their heads on the correct bodies. If not for that, I am not sure Meechi would have ever gotten over this incident.

Yep, this is a typical day in our house. Well, actually our days of built of several moments like these.

a local option... maybe

2010-04-22T09:19:00.001-07:00

Still waiting to hear back from KU med cent beh/dev whatever-the-heck the name of the darn place is. I am doubting that I'll hear from them by the end of the month. (you might remember that i was told to give it to the end of the month and then call them back if i hadn't heard anything)

I talked with the referrals dept at Meechi's doctor's office and asked if they could please look for any possible local options. (there were none that they knew of/had worked with before) She very happily agreed to check, and did come up with one possible option. I heard from them and they are sending out some paperwork to me in the mail. I need to fill out, what I assume, are behavior/development questionnaires. Once they receive those back from me, they will call me to make an appointment. The papers should be arriving in the mail today. You better believe I am going to get them filled out the minute they arrive and get them sent right back!

I am not going to "cancel" anything with KU until we are through with the eval here. I don't want to say "we don't need this" to anybody and then end up having this option fall through and have to start all over again. I did that once already. It's actually something I meant to post about for a few weeks now, but kept putting off. A couple of days after getting the referral to take Meechi to Children's Mercy in KC, I got a call from Heartspring. It was April of last year that I had called them to try and get Meechi scheduled for an eval through them. I was told there was a wait list that was about 3 months long to get an appointment. Nearly a year later, I finally got a call from them. They asked if I still needed to get him an eval. I told them "No, he has a referral to Children's Mercy now". Then a couple days later I found out that CM wouldn't see him. Ugh! Of course I'm not sure that Heartspring would have worked out anyway. First of all, if it took them a year to call me back about making an appointment.... how far out would that appointment have been??? But, more importantly is the fact that his insurance wouldn't have paid for the eval there. They do offer financial assistance that we could have applied for, but I have no idea if we would have received it or not. So, that was a really iffy option anyway.

I am really, really, really hoping that this local option works out. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Leave a link to your We Are The Truth post here

2010-04-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

I am re-posting this from Tuesday because I want to spread the word about We Are The Truth. I am also adding a Mr Linky to the post, so if you have written a We Are The Truth post to spread the message about successful adoption, please leave a link to your post on Mr Linky.

#2 The Joint Council on International Children's Services is asking people to take part in We Are The Truth – an adoption blogger day: To ensure the world knows about every successful adoption, on Thursday, April 15, 2010 blog about your adoption or the adoption of someone you know. It doesn’t matter if your adoption is with Russia, domestic or otherwise international. Let the world know your truth!

I will be taking part in We Are The Truth, so be sure to come back on Thursday for my post. I am asking ALL OF YOU to take part as well. If you have adopted please take part and post your own story. If you know anyone who has adopted, please take the time to post about their family. If you do not know anyone personally who has adopted then please, please post links to the stories of adoptive families. Feel free to post a link to my post on Thursday, or any of the thousands of others that will be posted across the web. If you do not have a blog then please spread the word through Twitter, Facebook, Email, or any of the other social networking sites.

We Are The Truth: how we were blessed by adoption

2010-04-15T05:26:00.001-07:00

My son asks for the 100th time if it is time to get his brother and sister from school. He's been waiting all day to see them and just can't wait any longer. He runs to the car, bouncing up and down with excitement, shouting their names. We drive first to his brother's school and he watches out the back window of the car. I don't need to watch because my son's cheers of joy at seeing his brother let me know when he is coming. He chatters away to his brother as we drive on to his sister's school to pick her up. She is standing, waiting for us, and when he sees her he shouts out her name, just as excited as he was to see his brother. She climbs in the car next to him and gives him a big kiss on the cheek. He squeals with delight and they ramble on to each other about their day. I smile, filled with joy, at the love these three children have for each other.

My son brings out one of his puzzles and asks, "Daddy, build with me". They sit down together and piece the puzzle together. When they've finished, my son brings out another and another and another. Together they put together every puzzle he owns before moving on to the next activity. "Daddy, play game with me." Again, he brings out every game he owns and they play them together one by one. From there they move on to playing trains, blocks, reading books. Whatever he asks for, his Daddy happily obliges. I smile, filled with joy, at the strong bond between father and son.

My son hops across the room like a kangaroo. He spins in circles and falls to the floor laughing. He runs up to me and makes a funny face then breaks out into giggles. He sticks out his behind and flaps his arms, quacking like a duck. Again and again he does silly things all so he can make me laugh. He chases a ball and kicks it away just as he gets to it then chases it again just to do the same thing. He runs up to me, looks into my eyes and asks, "Mommy, you happy?". I give him a big hug and tell him, "yes, I am very happy". I smile, filled with joy, at this wonderful boy whose greatest joy comes from spreading happiness.

My son climbs into my lap with a cup of milk and his favorite blanket. He snuggles up close, resting his head on my shoulder. Together we sit and watch Horton Hears a Who for the millionth time. He sticks his toes out of the blanket and wiggles them, waiting for me to give them a tickle. He giggles and then settles back down. He holds my fingers in his and snuggles closer. I look down at this beautiful boy and say a prayer of thanks. He was not born my son. It was through the blessed miracle of adoption that this child came to be ours. Everyday I am thankful that I was allowed the great gift of being his Mommy. I look into his beautiful eyes and I smile, filled with joy, because he is my son.

Book Giveaway

2010-04-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

I am giving away a copy of Forget Me Not by Vicki Hinze over on my Trial By Jury blog. It is a really good mystery that you will not want to put down. Click on over and enter to win just by leaving a comment.

Spread the truth

2010-04-13T06:45:00.001-07:00

By now I am sure you have all heard about the woman in Tennessee who returned her son to Russia where she had adopted him. I will spare you my opinion of this woman, those type or words don't belong here on my son's blog! Her actions have caused Russian officials to state that they will halt intercountry adoptions. One woman in hundreds of thousands of adoptive parents is the cause of this! The majority of intercountry adoptions are very successful with the children being loved, very well cared for and thriving in their new families. I am asking my readers to help let the Russian officials know that we are outraged by what this woman did, to ask them to look at the thousands of success stories rather than this isolated incident when making the decision on whether or not US citizens be allowed to adopt Russian orphans.

How can you help?
#1 sign the petition asking both president Medvedev of Russia and president Obama to ensure that intercountry adoption continues uninterrupted and to aggressively investigate and prosecute anyone involved in the abuse of children. You can sign anytime, but doing so before Tuesday night would help get the letters to both Presidents before President Medvedev leaves the U.S. Click here to sign the letter.

#2 The Joint Council on International Children's Services is asking people to take part in We Are The Truth – an adoption blogger day: To ensure the world knows about every successful adoption, on Thursday, April 15, 2010 blog about your adoption or the adoption of someone you know. It doesn’t matter if your adoption is with Russia, domestic or otherwise international. Let the world know your truth!

I will be taking part in We Are The Truth, so be sure to come back on Thursday for my post. I am asking ALL OF YOU to take part as well. If you have adopted please take part and post your own story. If you know anyone who has adopted, please take the time to post about their family. If you do not know anyone personally who has adopted then please, please post links to the stories of adoptive families. Feel free to post a link to my post on Thursday, or any of the thousands of others that will be posted across the web. If you do not have a blog then please spread the word through Twitter, Facebook, Email, or any of the other social networking sites.

This! This happy, laughing child... this is the TRUTH of adoption!

Spring has sprung

2010-04-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

It's time for fun in the backyard. Spring is officially here and we are doing out best to enjoy it. I really need to remember to change Meechi out of his good clothes and into some raggedy play clothes before playing in our dirt field of a backyard though. He loves playing in the dirt now, which is totally new for him. In that last photo you can see him writing the word "CAT" in the dirt. He is starting to be able to sound out small words and spell them.

This Little Prayer of Mine by Anthony DeStefano

2010-04-09T06:34:00.000-07:00

I don't normally do book reviews here on Meechi's blog, but I know lots of moms (and some dads) read this blog and I wanted to share this particular book with you all. I was given the chance to read and review This Little Prayer of Mine by Anthony DeStefano. I love this book! The whole book is a wonderful child's prayer. What a fantastic way to teach your child to pray. It covers things like being afraid or sad, about making the right choices, being thankful and the one I feel the strongest about... helping those less fortunate than ourselves. It is a beautiful, meaningful prayer that is becoming part of our nightly routine here. The book is also very beautifully illustrated by Mark Elliott.

I highly recommend getting This Little Prayer of Mine for your little one and making it part of your nightly routine as well!

more about the book from the publisher:
Author Anthony DeStefano’s adult books, The Prayers God Always Says Yes To and A Travel Guide to Heaven, have sold a quarter-million copies. Illustrator Mark Elliott’s cherished artwork has appeared in popular picture books and novels for young readers, including Gail Carson Levine’s ever-popular Princess Tales series.
Now, these acclaimed inspirational experts have come together to create This Little Prayer of Mine, a beautiful and alluring book designed to guide children into a very simple, real and expressive relationship with God.
Through engaging rhymes and alluring illustrations, This Little Prayer of Mine shows children—and their parents and grandparents—that complete dependence on God is what brings peace and fulfillment. It invites children to know and believe that God is always just a simple prayer away and that He longs to respond to them with a resounding, “Yes!”
This Little Prayer of Mine appeals to readers from all different faiths. Easy-reader format allows children to read alone, or with someone older, and encourages them to openly express their fears, thanks, and needs directly to God.

I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

more waiting

2010-04-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

I heard back from KU Med Center Child behavior/development (or whatever it is) department today. They took all of Meechi's intake information. They asked several questions that I answered mostly "yes" to. Sort of their little rundown of signs of autism I guess. I was actually surprised how many times I had to answer "yes" rather than "no". Even after reading up on this for over a year, I didn't really think he fit that many of the signs. Guess he really does.

anyway.....

They couldn't make his appointment. They have too many people waiting to get appointments right now to even guess when he might get scheduled. I am supposed to wait until I hear from someone about setting up the appointment. I was told that if I don't hear from them by the end of the month to give them a call. (SIGH) Seems like there will be a lot more waiting to do. It will take possibly the entire month just to make an appointment. No telling how far out they are actually making appointments!

In the meantime I will be setting up an appointment to have him tested for possible physical problems that could be causing his nighttime issues. Thank you to everyone for your concern and suggestions in regard to this.

the run around

2010-04-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

So, I heard back from Children's Mercy in KC. Yes, it took the 10 business days they said it would. Guess what? They can't see him. Some crap about they can only see Mo patients right now and not Ks patients. Instead I need to call KU Med Center child development center.

I called them, and guess what? I had to leave a message. This time I didn't even get a timeframe on when they might call back.

i am not pleased to be getting the run around. I just want my son evaluated!

please let this be the end of a really bad week

2010-04-01T06:12:00.000-07:00

It is just after 8am and instead of getting Meechi ready for school right now I am letting him sleep. I'm hoping and praying that he sleeps for a good, long while. Last night was rough. Really rough. We haven't had a night like that for a long time.

Meechi had actually begun to sleep through the night a few months ago. I'm not sure how much (or even if) I have posted about his sleeping habits. More like "lack of sleeping"habits really. (I'll backtrack a bit, to fill everyone in) He would always wake up at least once in the night screaming. Not crying, or whining... absolute screams. We could never see anything wrong with him, and of course he didn't have the language to tell us. Occasionally he did tend to curl up his legs or sometimes hold his stomach, so it could have been anything from a tummy ache to just needing to pee. Those physical signs weren't always there though. Most times he was just awake and screaming. It would take at least an hour to get him back to sleep most nights and there were times he'd do this more than once a night. But, as I said, the past few months he's slept through the night with none of these episodes. Until last night.

It was a really rough one that lasted a couple of hours. It started with crying that escalated to near screams. I tried the easy stuff like rubbing his back, stroking his hair, talking to him in soothing tones. Of course none of those worked, they never have and I didn't really expect them to this time either. I tried holding him and rocking him. It just kept on and got worse. I asked him over and over what was wrong and what he wanted/needed. He was clutching at his tummy, like he has in the past. I asked if he needed to potty and he said yes, so we tried that. He did go, but it didn't stop the problem. In that two hour time period he asked to go potty two more times. Once he went a little and the other time, not at all. He said he needed a drink, so I got him one. That didn't help. He said he was hungry, so I gave him some crackers. He ate about three of them and didn't want anymore but the food didn't help either. Eventually he just planted his feet in my side (he loves to sleep either kicking us or with his feet pushed deep and hard into our sides or legs. no idea why) and crashed from pure exhaustion.

I didn't dare wake him this morning to try and take him to school. I just want him to rest and catch up on the sleep he missed. Part of me really wanted to send him to school because those 3 hours have been the only thing that have kept me sane this week. I knew that it wouldn't be good for him though. So now I'm hoping he sleeps for a long time instead of waking soon.

It's been a rough week all around. His "behaviors" have been more frequent and more severe this week. There have been more obsessive compulsive behaviors than normal and the freak outs over them have been worse. Meltdowns have been more frequent and severe as well. He is yelling at everyone and being extremely bossy. He keeps telling me to "stop it doing ____" well, pretty much everything. That includes things I am not even doing. He will even ask for me to do something for him and then when I do it, he will cry and tell me to stop doing it. I'm not sure what is going on with him right now, but I've had enough of it. It seems he is even more sensitive to the stimuli around him than normal. The weather has been really nice, so we've spent some time outside which he normally loves but he's asked to come back in for various reasons. Once it was the sun which he thought was too bright. He even yelled at the sun, "stop it sun! stop it being too sunny!" which was sort of funny and sad at the same time.

He has also seemed to totally lose the ability to play on his own this week. Not that he ever does it much, but this week has been worse. He won't do anything on his own. Usually if I get out puzzles he will sit down and work on those on his own for awhile. This week he has insisted that I sit next to him while he does them, "help me mommy. do puzzle with me". I don't give in to him everytime. I have to try and keep a line between actual "episodes" that are beyond his control and him just trying to be bossy and controlling. It's not always easy to tell the difference, but sometimes it is. Of course not getting his way sends him into a meltdown. It doesn't matter whether it started with a behavior that he could control or one that he couldn't... not getting what he wants results in full on meltdown. Ignoring them makes them worse, but I've done a lot of ignoring them the past couple of days anyway.

It has been a really bad, really tough week. I am hoping that this behavior ends with the week. Probably not going to happen, but I'm still hoping. Maybe last night was the end of it. A grand finale to a really bad week. Fingers crossed!

oh! tomorrow is day 10 of the supposed 10 business day wait to get a call back to make Meechi's appointment to get him evaluated. REALLY hoping I hear from them today or tomorrow!!!

**** a couple of sidenotes here. for the first 6 months or so after we brought Meechi home he had night terrors. they were horrible! whatever these episodes he is having are, I know that they aren't night terrors because we had already experienced those and there is a difference. (they were worse) also, i wanted to point out that since his father has been living and working 700 miles away, Meechi has been sleeping in bed with me. that is how i have experienced so much of the kicking and foot burrowing. i hadn't originally intended for him to co-sleep, but when it became clear that the night episodes weren't stopping (his daddy dealt with those way more often than i did) it was easier for me to have him co-sleep. i think it helped in getting them to stop for awhile.****

Why I Hate The Playground

2010-03-24T08:05:00.000-07:00

We had beautiful weather here yesterday. Parts of the city got up to 72 degrees. After this brutal winter that doesn't want to die (supposed to go right back to being cold again here today) there was no way I could let a day that nice go by without spending time outdoors. I figured a nice, long walk in the park would be the best way to go. I could get a bit of exercise while enjoying the weather and we could stop at the playgrounds and let Meechi play a bit.

When I say, "a bit" that is exactly what I mean. Taking Meechi to the playground is not an activity I want to do for an extended period of time. It has nothing to do with the crowds of other children. Nor does it have anything to do with the little cliques of moms scattered about (that is a post for another day). The fact is, I am never more aware of my son's differences than I am when we are on the playground.

I watch other children running, jumping, climbing, sliding, swinging, and interacting with each other. Then I watch my son as he slowly and carefully makes his way up the steps of the equipment, holding on to the rail for dear life. Forget about cargo nets, rock walls or any other means of climbing up. It must be stairs and even they are to be greatly feared. I watch as he stares at the tiny cracks between each plank and gingerly steps over them afraid that he will fall through that centimeter of space. I watch as he cringes away from the kid who dares to get close to him. I watch as he, himself, watches other kids playing and smiles but doesn't dare go near them and attempt to join the fun. I watch as he takes five minutes to convince himself that it is ok to go down the slide. I watch him make that scary climb back up the stairs and then begin crying because another child has started climbing up behind him. I dare to ask, once again, if he wants to swing, knowing the answer will be a terrified "NO!". (yes, in PT and OT he had overcome his fear of the swing but thanks to a long, cold winter and no chances to swing he has regressed)

So, you see... I hate the playground. I hate seeing all those other children playing and having fun like it is the most natural thing in the world. I hate it because for my son it does not come natural. Playing is difficult and scary. Having fun is hard work. What kind of mommy wouldn't hate that for their child?

10 freaking days? no, wait! make that 10 freaking Business days!

2010-03-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

Due to a paperwork error (an error the ins blames on us and i blame on the ins) Meechi lost his insurance about a year ago. Well, he finally got it back about 3 months ago. Of course they offer two different kinds and they gave him the kind that his doctor, whom was PERFECT for him, did not take. Another month to get it switched to the right kind. When the card shows up, it has some random doctor I had never heard of listed as his primary care provider. (SIGH) Another phone call to fix that one and 3 months after having his insurance reinstated, he can finally go to the doctor.

But, wait! There is another issue!

That doctor who was so perfect for him? The one who has internationally adopted children herself? The one who actually will not only listen when I have a concern but offers up real advice on what the problem could be and how to deal with it? The one who willingly gives out referrals to specialists? That doctor? She no longer takes this insurance! Wanna know why? Because it's through the state and old B.O. has changed things with gov run healthcare just enough that they now pay about HALF what they used to for services. So now there are almost zero doctors willing to accept the state insurance because they want to actually make money. Who knew? Doctors want to get paid? Shocking!

So, just when I thought I would finally be able to get Meechi in to see his doctor so that we could get the referral to have him evaluated to see if he is on the autism spectrum or if he has OCD or whatever the issue is, I find out he can't see her anymore. (oh, and i am no expert so i don't know what Meechi's issue actually is, but as a mom i can assure you that there IS an issue. something is just not right. and in order for my son to be happy and to get the services he needs to learn to deal with all these obstacles in his way, we NEED to find out what is causing them) Turns out that at the clinic where his former doctor is at, he can now only see the physician's assistant. I know her, and I know she is very good at her job. I know that when Meechi has an ear infection, allergy issues, a sore throat, or any other type of illness, that he will be in very good hands with her. But... is she familiar with things like autism, ocd, or even the dozens of issues a child who spent time in an orphanage can be dealing with? Nope! I did take him to see her and she did listen to me. She said she'd trust me if I was seeing the signs, admitted she knows nothing about autism, and would be happy to give me the referral so he could be evaluated. Hurray! He finally has his referral to get evaluated.

But, wait! The drama doesn't end there.

Remember how I said there are almost zero doctors who will now take that insurance? Well, there are exactly zero child psychologists (the type of specialist we need to do the eval) in this city who will take it. Ya, seriously..... ZERO! I was asked if I would be willing to take Meechi to KC for the eval. Yes, I am willing to drive 3.5 hours for my son to get this done. But now, there is one more glitch. The clinic that does the evals won't let the doctor's office set up the appointment, I have to call and do it myself. Ok, easy enough. Right? Right?

I called. Couldn't just talk to a person and make the appointment. Had to leave a message on the machine for new patients. Just leave your name, the patients name and date of birth and why you want them to be seen. Be sure to leave a daytime phone number. Thanks so much. Oh! and by the way..... we'll get back to you in 10 business days.

10 freaking business days just to get back to me to make an appointment???But, what the heck, right? I've already waited a year to get this eval done. What is 1o more business days?

I can only wonder how many months away their next available appointment will be!!!

Go Bananas, Go Go Bananas

2010-03-16T16:56:00.000-07:00

It was on our 4th day of the bonding period that we were allowed to dress Meechi in clothes we had brought for him. I chose to dress him in a tshirt and overalls, because every Ks boy needs a good pair of overalls. ;)
That same day was also the first time we were allowed to bring him a snack. We were told we could only bring him an apple or a banana. We chose to bring him a banana, and it turned out that it was the first time in his life he'd ever eaten one. To say that he loved it would be an understatement. In fact, he actually bit my finger trying to get every little bit of the banana he could.

Here is Meechi in his tshirt and overalls

As a special gift for the 3rd anniversary of Meechi's adoption, I got him a puppy from Build A Bear. Of course I picked out a very special outfit for the puppy to wear.

when I was in Louisiana I saw these overalls in the Build A Bear Workshop there and knew exactly what gift I would be getting Meechi for the 3yr anniversary. They also had a red and white striped tshirt, but I couldn't find it here when we went to make the puppy. I called Meechi's daddy and he made a trip to the mall down there just to find that striped shirt. Soon, I will be replacing this plain red shirt with the striped one. :)
Think he loves his new puppy?

Oh! and the puppy's name? It's Bananas of course!

Saying goodbye to a little one and a chance for another

2010-03-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

I learned a few days ago that beautiful, little Dane, the orphan I was advocating for last year, passed away. It is heartbreaking when a child dies, but knowing that this boy died never having felt the love of a family, never having been held in the loving embrace of a mommy, makes it so much sadder. May you finally feel that love sweet Dane in the arms of The Lord.

The loss of Dane, gives me the will to fight even harder to try and help other children find their families and get out of the orphanages and institutions. No child deserves to live in those places, and they certainly don't deserve to die in them!

At the beginning of February I vowed to help find a family for Damon. He is living in the same country Dane was. I would love to see this little boy find a home with a loving mommy and daddy, and not live out his days in an institution.

$50 was raised for Damon's adoption grant, and I thank all who helped make that happen. However, there was a decision made by the board at Reece's Rainbow to combine the grants of all the Older Other Angels to make one large grant. This new grant, that is now at $5109 will go to the first child adopted from the Older Other Angels page. This could be really good news for Damon. If a family commits to him soon, that $5109 will go towards the cost of Damon's adoption!!!

If you are considering adoption, please consider Damon. Older children are so often overlooked in favor of younger children or babies. This adorable little boy is no less deserving of a family.

once again, here is the info on Damon:

Boy, Born March 30, 2001
Eastern Europe
What a darling little boy! Damon is 8 years old now. He struggled with mild neonatal asphyxiation at birth, and some respiratory distress. He is a very healthy, normal little boy, but he is considered delayed. Both of his parents are listed as "mentally delayed".
From our facilitator: "Damon attends a kindergarten for special needs children. He is a tall, active boy with brown hair and brown eyes. He is calm and timid, but a very cheerful boy. He is very dear, and there are a lot of adult persons who love him very much. He is not a very demanding boy, and shows his happiness with small things that make him happy. He prefers individual contact, and is cooperating well. Most of the day he is playing alone, not trying to make contacts with other children. His motor abilities are good, although he always needs support when going downstairs and out. In the backyard he is playing freely, but is always looking for a person who took him there. When someone tries to compromise his playing he asks for help his preschool teacher calling her by her name. But he also knows to defend by himself. He started to talk/has several words. He likes to play with car toys and to draw. Together with his teacher he likes to look at the picture books. He is extremely happy when you tell him nice words and hug him. He is eating very well, independently. He likes sweets the best! He knows how to dress of his jacket and the shoes and knows his place at the table. Not toilet trained yet. He cries rarely, and is mostly in the good mood. We think he acts well in the group, and is constantly progressing. He makes contacts with the others easily and is responding to the stimulations of the others very well. He needs complex stimulation of the adequate developmental specialists, and above all love and stimulation of his forever family. He is considered by his psychologist as significantly developmentally delayed. His preschool teacher loves him very much, and thinks he will be a real joy any family who will adopt him."

I ask that you please take a look at the children listed on the Older Other Angels page at Reeces Rainbow. Perhaps there is a child there that is meant to be yours, even if it's not Damon. The $5000 grant goes a long way toward paying the adoption fees!

Metcha Day anniversary and video

2010-03-12T13:25:00.000-08:00

March 12, 2007 was the day we were finally able to meet and hold our son. That moment felt like nothing short of a miracle.

I think I have posted this video at the anniversary of our "Metcha Day" each year since, so most of you have probably seen it before... but here it is again.

It's March!

2010-03-02T18:49:00.000-08:00

It's March. Let the anniversary dates begin! At this time three years ago we were making preparations to leave for Kazakhstan. Our lives would forever be changed for the better.

this photo is a mosaic made with some of the photos we took while in Kazakhstan, to form one of my favorite photos from our bonding time.... my husband and I giving our son a kiss. If you click on the photo it will enlarge and you can see all the photos used to create the mosaic.

wow! really?!?!? braces?

2010-03-01T00:10:00.000-08:00

If one more random person asks me if Meechi has braces on his teeth I think I might snap. Seriously! I get asked that all the time. The mom of one of the kids at his preschool asked. Several different cashiers at various stores have asked. Just about anywhere we go, if Meechi happens to open his mouth enough to flash his teeth, people see his silver caps and one of them will be dumb enough to ask, "does he have braces?". Next time I may not be able to fight off my temptation to say, "no dumbass! he's 4 years old. he does not have braces!".

you should really click on over

2010-02-26T21:29:00.000-08:00

If you have visited this blog lately then you know I changed the look of it. If you read the posts in a reader or on facebook, then you really should click on over to the actual blog and take a look. It is a work in progress. That border over there on the right is a bit chopped off and I need to fix that. Also, I still need to make a new header. But, I think when it's all done it will look good. I wanted something more personal so I decided to create the background myself.

I already had a header that I'd done myself, but now it doesn't match, so it must go. Not sure exactly what I want to do with it though. I love the contrasting photos of Meechi on the current header. The oh so happy pic and the total meltdown pic just relay what life with Meechi really is all about. Both of those photos are pretty old though and I am thinking a more current version might be in order. The happy pic is from summer of 08 and the crying pic is from fall of 07. Well, no matter what, the color needs to change to match the rest of the blog.

I went with Kaz colors simply because I wasn't sure what colors I wanted to use. Figured I may as well go with the colors of his birth country. The photos on the sides are mostly recent photos, but I had to add some early photos as well. The first one is the day we met Meechi and the 2nd is the day he left the babyhouse forever.

I am also planning to make the blog have 3 columns, which is why the sidebar is so wide right now. Eventually it will be normal size, and I'll shift all the posts to the right just a bit and put in a 2nd sidebar on the left. I started the blog makeover before heading down to Louisiana for a couple of weeks, so it has been sitting half done for awhile. Hopefully I'll find time to finish it up soon.

I would love to get some feedback on what everyone thinks of the new look. I am still trying to decide if I like it or not. So, if you are reading this through a reader or the post on facebook, you really should click over to the actual blog and take a look. Then be sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think of the new look so far.

Hello from Louisiana

2010-02-17T08:05:00.000-08:00

We are visiting Meechi's daddy down in Louisiana for a little while. Timing was good for this trip as we got to experience our first Mardi Gras celebration.

In case you are wondering... We are in a town that has a much more family friendly Mardi Gras celebration than what people typically think of. This is not the chest flashing New Orleans Mardi Gras!

Shake your BB and B

2010-02-04T08:55:00.000-08:00

Meechi has several songs he likes to sing. There are the standards such as the alphabet song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Bah Bah Black Sheep, and Old McDonald. Then there are some odd songs that I have never heard before. He must have picked those up from school. And then, there is my favorite category of song....... the songs he makes up himself.

The newest of these would be what he calls the animal alphabet. To the tune of the alphabet song, he sings:
"alligator, bear, cat, dog, elephant, fish, giraffe, hippo, iguana, jaguar, kangaroo, lion, mouse, nightingale, ostrich (sometimes traded for octopus), pig, quail, rhinoceros, snake, turtle, umbrella, van, walrus, xray, yak, zebra!"
Pretty clever little guy. I mean, sure, an umbrella and a van aren't animals but it's pretty hard to remember what an urial or a vulture are when you're four.

His other favorite self made song, is one I am not the biggest fan of. It makes me laugh, silently, way down on the inside where he can't see me doing it... but it can be embarrassing when he busts out this tune in public.
"belly buttons n boobs. belly buttons n boobs. shake shake shake. shake shake shake, your belly buttons n boobs".
uh.... big thanks to the teenagers for teaching him the word "boobs". Good job kids! As for the shake shake shake part? Your guess is as good as mine where that came from. One of those odd songs he learned at school perhaps?

How can you ask for money right now?

2010-02-02T09:26:00.001-08:00

Some people ask, "how can you ask for money right now?"
"how can you ask people to donate at a time like this?"
"how can you expect people to give when the country is in a recession? when people are losing jobs? when everyone is tightening their budgets?"

My answer is simple. How can I not?

Yes, I do realize money is tight right now. Does that mean that I can't ask people to help a little boy like Damon? A child with no mother or father to love him. A child with no one to let him know that he is precious. A child with no one to hold him close, to hug him, to let him know that he means the world to them. How can I not ask for people to help him?

I am also encouraging people to donate toward the mission trip of Two Hearts For Hope as they will be traveling to Kazakhstan to build a playground at an orphanage there. This is a place full of children with nothing. If their lives can become less miserable by the addition of a wonderful place to play.... then, how can I not ask people to give?

Times are tough for most everyone right now. I understand that. Believe me! I understand that all too well. And yet I will ask for people to help those in need. I will ask if you are willing to sacrifice your cappacinno for a week and give that money toward Damon's adoption grant instead. I will ask if you are willing to skip taking your family to a movie so that you can put that money toward the playground for the orphans in Kazakhstan. I ask if you would be willing to give up just one thing, for one week and give the money to any worthy cause.

I ask because, how can I not?

Matthew 25:40, "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due when it is within the power of your hand to do so." Proverbs 3:27

"We know what true love looks like because of Jesus. He gave His life for us, and He calls us to give our lives for our brothers & sisters. This is a portrait of true love. If a person owns the kinds of things we need to make it in the world but refuses to share with those in need, is it even possible that God's love lives in him?..." 1 John 3:16-17

"Do unto others as you would have them do to you." Luke 6:31

How can you not?